


Nightmares

by PixelDarling



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Human, Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Suicidal Thoughts, family trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:55:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3977134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelDarling/pseuds/PixelDarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a dream come true isn't a dream at all.<br/>Warning: Dark story with various trigger subjects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: For those who are here because my other works were fluffy and sweet, this story is different. There will be mentions of suicidal thoughts, domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, familial trauma, dub-con and various other topics that might be triggering. These mentions will not likely be graphic but may cause some readers discomfort, and there may be descriptions of the injuries resulting from certain situations. I will try to remember to make note of anything bothersome at the beginning of the chapter, but it’s possible I might miss something. If so, I sincerely apologize. Please send me a message if something in one of the chapters bothers you and I’ve failed to adequately warn for it, so I can edit the chapter note.  
> Thanks for reading! PD
> 
> Prologue warnings: alcohol abuse, domestic violence, dub-con

** Prologue **

 

 

                Rose had never been so nervous about a date in her life. She hadn’t been on a date at all since she and Mickey had decided that they were better as friends six months ago. She had been trying to focus on working, trying to save enough to go back to school. Then, she’d let Shareen drag her to that club last weekend. The Gypsy Rain. The club had been loud and crowded and Rose lost herself in dancing for a while and even forgot that she hadn’t really wanted to come. She had been taking a break for a moment, watching Shareen from the bar when he approached and asked if he could buy her another drink. She had turned and it was him. He was tall and broad shouldered, with slicked back blonde hair and bright green eyes. He was the singer for the band that had been onstage until about fifteen minutes before.

 

                When she looked at him, he smiled and spoke again. “Hey, doll. Name’s Jimmy. Want to spend my break getting to know each other?” His smile and leer should have felt slimy, but the adrenaline and the alcohol made her feel daring so she grinned at him and introduced himself. It wasn’t that she’d never been hit on in a club before. But certainly never by a member of the band. She’d spent the rest of that night talking to Jimmy and being sweet talked by him. By the time she and Shareen had left the club for the night, Jimmy had been insisting that he needed to see her again, and hence tonight’s date.

 

                She was especially nervous because she had learned that Jimmy Stone had money. He wasn’t just the front of the band, The Wild, he was also a partner at the club, and the club did very well. She hadn’t known when she’d given him her address for tonight. She wasn’t exactly embarrassed about being broke, but she was sure his normal dates lived somewhere a little less… Well, council estate. She thought she might really like him, and she was worried that seeing where she lived might be a deal-breaker for him. He could probably have anyone he wanted. What would he want with a council chav like her?

 

                She heard the doorbell ring and her mum moving to answer it. Her nervousness spiked a bit as she gave her reflection a last check before going to greet him. She was wearing a black halter dress that stopped just above her knees. It was her nicest dress and he hadn’t said where they were going, so… She decided it would have to do. And that her mother had had enough time to torture Jimmy.

 

 

 

 

                She had been dating Jimmy for six months and her life seemed so very different. He’d showered her with gifts and she now had an all-new wardrobe as well as jewelry and a beautiful gold watch. On every date he presented her with a single white long-stemmed rose. Her mum had been likewise the recipient of lavish gifts. She went to the club nearly every night these days and he had taken to introducing her as his Rose. She’d met the rest of the band: Adam Mitchell was the flirtatious drum player, an even more flirtatious woman named River Song played bass (Rose wondered if that could possibly be her real name), and an outrageous woman named Christina played lead guitar. She claimed to be nobility, a lady or something. Rose privately thought she was off her rocker. She had met a few other people who worked at the club and, one night, she briefly met the other partner. Jimmy said he hardly ever came by. Mr. Saxon had made her uncomfortable with the piercing way he had looked at her, but he hadn’t stayed long after speaking with Jimmy privately and she hadn’t seen him apart from the one time.

 

                She hadn’t even thought much about her plans for returning to school since she had started dating him. It was so thrilling having a rich man shower her with attention and he had been taking up a lot of her time. For the past three months Jimmy had been trying to convince her to quit working at the shop, but her mum couldn’t afford the flat without Rose’s help. Jimmy just kept telling her he only wanted to take care of her, that he didn’t like the idea of his girl serving others.

 

                For their six month anniversary he took her to Paris. On their second evening there, after an exquisite dinner at a five-star restaurant he presented her with a ring. It had the largest diamond she had ever seen up close and personal. He asked her to marry him and told her he had also bought a small house for her mum. His mother-in-law wouldn’t be living in a council estate flat. Of course she said yes. No more working in the shop for Rose Tyler.

 

 

 

 

                Rose and Jackie spent six months planning a fairy tale wedding on an unlimited budget. Rose’s father had died when she was a baby, but after some grumbling Mickey had agreed to give her away. The church, and the ballroom they’d hired for the reception were full of white roses. All of her friends from the estate were there, and they all agreed that Rose was by far the luckiest of their number. Rose found that she couldn’t disagree with them. She thanked Shareen for dragging her into the Gypsy Rain a year earlier.

 

                At the reception she met Mr. Saxon again. He kissed her hand and for just a moment her skin crawled. Then he was begging her forgiveness for borrowing her groom and he and Jimmy were walking away. She shook the feeling off. He was Jimmy’s business partner and there was no reason at all for the man to give her the creeps. He had been unfailingly polite at both of their meetings. She just didn’t know him that well. That was all.

 

                She found herself dancing with Adam. He had stopped flirting with her mostly. Every once in a while, if Jimmy wasn’t right there, though, she would catch him… well, she was pretty sure ogling her was the right phrase, but that couldn’t be right. He was Jimmy’s friend and bandmate, so it had to be her imagination. There had been none of that tonight, though. He seemed genuinely interested in keeping her company while Jimmy was otherwise occupied. It took her quite by surprise when, as they were dancing, an arm came from behind her, across her shoulder and shoved Adam away from her. “Just what do you think you’re doing?” Jimmy loomed over Adam, a sneer on his face. “Don’t touch my wife, Mitchell.”

 

                He turned to Rose, then. She flinched a bit at the anger in his eyes, but she blinked and it faded. “Sorry, love. Adam won’t touch you again. Understand?” For a second, there was a hard light in his eyes again, and she felt just a tiny spark of fear. She nodded quickly and the light faded. She must have imagined that. He smiled at her then, and whisked her back out onto the dance floor and she relaxed again. Jimmy was her husband. He only wanted to take care of her, like he always said. He’d never hurt her. So, if there had been a threat in there somewhere, it had been directed at Adam, not her. Blokes were just territorial, that’s all. Even Mickey had been, when they were dating. Jimmy was probably feeling it a little more than usual because it was their wedding day, that’s all. At that thought, she felt the excitement take hold again. It was her wedding day, and he was her husband, now. He loved her and he wanted to take care of her. She had nothing to fear.

 

 

 

 

 

                The first three months of her marriage were a mostly happy time for Rose. She had moved into Jimmy’s gorgeous penthouse flat and taken up painting again as a way to fill her time. Jimmy liked her to be home most of the time, and she usually found that she didn’t mind playing the dutiful housewife to him. She still went to club often, and Jimmy was still generous with his gifts. She didn’t see her mum as often as she used to, but she and Jackie were both adjusting to their new lives. Jackie adored her little house, and had taken to working in the small backyard garden, now that Jimmy had made it where she also had no need to work. Rose still sometimes expected to wake up and find that it had all been a dream. But, there were signs that first three months that the dream wasn’t what it appeared to be.

 

                Rose wasn’t a heavy drinker, but she did enjoy wine and the occasional mixed drink. Jimmy drank as well, of course, and more than she did, but while they were dating she had never seen him get entirely drunk. Instead he had plied her with fine wines, of the sort that she hadn’t ever thought she would have the opportunity to taste. Sometime during that first three months, Jimmy stopped drinking wine altogether, and began drinking whiskey. Straight. Rose saw no reason to be bothered at first, after all, who was she to judge his taste in alcohol? For all she knew, he’s always preferred whiskey, and he’d only drunk wine with her before as a deference to her taste.

 

                She didn’t go to the club every night, and by the end of the first three months, Jimmy was coming home completely wasted on those nights that she didn’t go. He would come home with his pupils blown wide and smelling strongly of liquor. She had tried to take care of him the first few times that happened, but he didn’t seem interested, so she began a ritual of kissing him goodnight when he returned in that state and retiring to their bed alone. It wasn’t ideal, and it wasn’t what she had expected of their marriage, but he was a good provider, for both her and her mum. She reasoned with herself that it wasn’t like she knew anything about the stresses of running a business or leading a band. And it wasn’t like he had done anything wrong aside from being a bit surly with her.

 

                Over the next three months of her marriage she became increasingly worried about his behavior as his drinking became still heavier. Even on the nights that she went into the club he was getting completely drunk. Sometimes, when the band wasn’t playing, he would disappear for hours at a time, leaving her sitting at the bar nursing the single glass of wine that she now allowed herself. She reasoned one of them should stay relatively sober, after all. The bartender, Craig, was kind to her, even though he didn’t talk to her very much. Apparently Jimmy had warned the staff against being too ‘friendly’ with his wife. But he smiled at her sympathetically on the nights Jimmy seemingly abandoned her for hours on end. Whenever Jimmy reappeared on these nights, he always reeked of smoke and whiskey, his pupils seeming to obscure the green of his eyes. For some reason he was also usually in a bad mood.

 

                During this time their marriage bed went from adventurous to aggressive bordering on violent. It was the first time that Rose began to consider whether she had made a mistake in marrying Jimmy Stone. When he was sober he was still sweet and doting, and when he was cruel he always, always apologized later. The apology was always accompanied by the long-stemmed white rose.

 

                Everything changed six months after their wedding. Rose hadn’t gone to the club that night. Jimmy hadn’t been happy about it, even though he hadn’t ever made a fuss before, and Rose had told him she was having a headache. He’d been in a rotten mood already when he had left. When he came home, he was, of course, completely inebriated. Only, this time, instead of insisting she just leave him alone, he wanted her. She didn’t really want him coming to bed at all in this state and she told him so. She thought she might be able to get him to come to his senses. Jimmy laughed at her, a cruel thing that sent a spike of ice shooting through her heart. “Listen, bitch, you belong to me, and I’ll take you whenever I goddamn well please!” He’d backhanded her, hard and she’d seen stars. The he’d proceeded to do exactly whatever he wanted.

 

When Rose woke up the next morning, he was gone. It wasn’t a surprise, he always left whenever they had an argument. Not that last night could really be construed as an argument. Her head hurt even worse than it had the previous day, and one of her eyes wouldn’t open properly. Her legs were stiff and her pelvis was sore. Her left wrist was swollen. She was terrified. She didn’t want to know what Jimmy would do if she went to the hospital like this. She was too humiliated to call Mickey, or any of her old friends. She had pulled her mum into this as well. Jimmy owned her house. She was trapped. She was trapped, and it wasn’t a dream, it was nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: major character death, house fire, hit and run accident, evidence of domestic violence

****

 

** Chapter 1 **

 

               The devastating news came near the end of his third year of medical school. His childhood home, the house he and Donna had grown up in, had burned to the ground in the night. Their parents had been sleeping inside and had burned along with the house. Poor Donna was on a cruise in the Mediterranean when it happened and barely made it back in time for the funeral. James was so grateful that he wasn’t entirely alone in the time that it took his older sister to return home. Their childhood friend Romana had dropped everything when he had called her falling apart after he got the news. They had always been good friends, all three of them, but in those few days she cared for him and comforted him while he grieved and worried over the effect his emotional state would have on his finals. Being a doctor had been a lifelong dream of his, and it had been his father’s dream for him as well. He couldn’t bear to let their loss deter him from that dream, but he felt gutted that his father wouldn’t be there to see it come true.

 

                Romana reminded him that his grades were exemplary and that he was the youngest student in the program. That his parents were already proud of him and that he could see this as a reason to finish in their memory. He had never been more thankful for his friend’s presence in his life. He stood between her and Donna at the funeral.

 

 

 

 

                His last year at medical school James Noble realized something that Romana had been waiting and wishing that he would realize for most of their lives. That she was not only his good friend, but also a desirable woman. They made as much room for each other as they could in their busy schedules that year. He was finishing medical school and preparing for his residency, and she worked for a group that advocated for legislature on behalf of victims of domestic violence. She was passionate about the cause. Donna was not surprised when, over the Christmas break that year, James proposed.

 

                He graduated in May at the top of his class, and Romana held him again when he cried that his parents weren’t there to see. This time she kissed his tears away and he decided to set the grief aside and focus on the new family that he would build with her. She had been patient and she had cared for him and he had been oblivious to her for so long, and she deserved to have as much of himself as he could give her.

 

                He didn’t cry when they wed the following month. Romana was radiant and joyous. He felt a happiness in himself that he hadn’t felt often since his parents’ death, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t as happy as he should be. As happy as a man should be who was marrying his best friend, the woman who had helped him through the hardest period in his life. But Romana was smiling at him and she deserved so much better than him, so he smiled brightly at her and danced her across the floor. He told himself he was as happy as he could ever be. It was only wedding nerves.

 

                He pretended to be happy so often over the next several years that he managed to convince himself for a time. He genuinely loved the time he spent working in the A&E helping people, and he didn’t see Romana as often as most married couples would, due to the demanding hours they both worked. So, it wasn’t often that he remembered that he wasn’t entirely satisfied with his marriage. He loved her, of course he did. He’d loved her most of his life; first as friends for so many years, then as lovers after his parents’ death. Every so often, he would remember that feeling of something missing. But, since it was a thing missing, like a thing seen out of the corner of your eye, he could never identify it. So, he shoved it to the back of his mind and chastised himself for being disloyal to his wife. Then he would find some way to force himself to forget the thing again.

 

 

 

 

                He was only three months away from the end of his residency and the permanent position he had been offered by the hospital when it happened. He was in the middle of a twelve hour shift in the A&E when the victim of a hit and run accident was rushed in. He was finishing a coffee when he heard the page and he and the other resident currently on duty rushed to the female victim. The chief surgeon was already there and he looked up as James and Martha Jones approached. James saw what looked like a flash of pity in Dr. Smith’s eyes when he looked at him and then he said, “James, Martha, I’d better take this one. Martha, would you please help James. James, I’m sorry, but you can’t attend.”

 

                It was then that James looked down and saw the patient. No. No. Her blonde hair was matted with blood and her eyes were closed. It couldn’t be. His legs were moving without his knowledge and he was looking down on the critically injured face of his wife. “Romana. No,” he whispered.

 

                “James, we’ll do everything we can, but you have to wait here. I’ll let you know as soon as I can, I swear.” James felt Martha’s hands close around his upper arms and Dr. Smith turned away to get ready for surgery. James felt completely numb as Martha gently steered him back to the small table they had just vacated.

 

                Martha sat with him and looked at him with sympathy and compassion. “James, I’m so sorry. You know Dr. Smith will do everything in his power to save her.” James couldn’t form a coherent thought. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He had taken her presence in his life for granted and now he could lose her, too. Just like he had lost his parents. He knew he should be weeping, but the only emotion he could find was guilt. That feeling grew sharper when thoughts of the unnamed thing reared their head, and he hated himself in that moment. He should be filled with worry and grief for Romana, not remembering that he sometimes thought their life together inadequate.

 

                Two hours later, Martha had gone on to taking care of the patients that continued to flow into the A&E, while James had been declared unfit to perform for the moment. Donna arrived in a flurry of tears and sat with him while they waited to hear about Romana’s surgery. Donna thought his silence was an indication of his worry for his wife, and indeed that was a part of it. But most of his internal monologue was taken up by a flow of scathing self-recrimination. And the thing. For the last hour they waited, the thing was in his mind constantly, throbbing, like a toothache in his brain. His self-loathing grew as he asked himself why, why now of all times, could he not shove this thing aside. But it stayed, and it poked at him and it screamed to be acknowledged. It said you don’t deserve to even grieve for her when you haven’t ever appreciated her. Yes, there was fear and grief on her behalf, but there was also a feeling of detachment.

 

                Finally he decided that if he could define the thing, maybe it would leave him to worry for his wife in peace. So he forced himself to examine the thing in hopes of identifying it. Not ten minutes before Dr. Smith’s weary approach he finally did, only to despise himself further. He loved Romana. He wished with all of his being for her to survive so he could somehow make things up to her. His massive mistake. He loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her. When he made love to her, his veins weren’t filled with passion. Oh, there was lust, and a desire to please her as well as himself, to be a fulfilling lover. But he wasn’t filled with a consuming need for her and he was more relieved by her absence than her presence these days. The guilt he had felt at previous, undefined thoughts of the missing thing were nothing at all next to the guilt he felt at realizing he had used her.

 

                He saw in Dr. Smith’s gait and facial expression that the news wasn’t going to be good, and he felt his sister take his hand. “I’m so sorry, James. There was too much damage. We couldn’t save them. I hope they catch the person who hit her.” He was so stunned by the words that he failed to register Dr. Smith’s use of the plural pronoun. Donna, however, was not.

 

                “What do you mean you couldn’t save ‘them’? Was someone else involved?” James felt his expression change from slack to confused at his sister’s words.

 

                Dr. Smith looked back and forth between James and Donna and a moment before he spoke again, reluctantly. “The baby.” He heard Donna’s gasp, but it was the last thing he registered before his mind went completely and utterly blank. He felt his sister sobbing into his neck and felt his arms wrap around her but otherwise he stood frozen, internally and externally. He tried to force some kind of thought into his head besides this blank white noise. He vaguely heard Dr. Smith telling him to go home and that he could make funeral arrangements another day, and not to worry about his job until he was ready. But none of those things registered either. He stood numbly with his sister while she wept.

 

                When he and Donna finally left the hospital, he let her lead him out to her car and drive him back to her house. On the drive thoughts finally began breaking through, but they were mostly confusion. They had talked about children, and had wanted to have them, but Romana had wanted to wait until his residency was over. He hadn’t thought to ask Dr. Smith how far along she was. It hadn’t seemed important then, and even now it felt like an idle thought. He followed Donna into her house and collapsed on the couch. She told him she was going to make some tea and then retreated into the kitchen leaving him alone with his thoughts.

 

                Now that they had started, they kept coming, but they were terrible thoughts. Romana was dying while he was realizing he wasn’t in love with her. He had lost a child he hadn’t even known he had and he had been thinking of how marrying Romana had been a mistake. He had used his friend to her dying breath. He wasn’t sure he could ever forgive himself. Donna brought him a cup of tea and he finally began to weep for his friend and what he had done.

 

 

 

 

                Donna stood next to him when they buried Romana on a drizzly Sunday. They buried Romana and the baby in a single grave. She had only been ten weeks along. Dr. Smith said it was possible that she might not have even known. He couldn’t help but think of the last funeral he had attended. That of his parents. Romana had been there as well, standing next to him, instead of lying in the ground. He wept silent tears while his sister sobbed next to him.

 

                After, at home in the house he had shared with her, he considered whether or not he could face returning to the A&E after losing her, them, there. He spent a week alone in his house, barely sleeping, only remembering to eat when a gnawing pain in his middle reminded him of the necessity. In the end he decided that he would return to work. It would be difficult, but he would view it as a sort of penance for mistreating Romana. For not loving her as he should have. He would dedicate his life to saving others: other wives and children, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers. He would save the families of others.

 

 

 

 

                Romana had been gone for almost four years, and James was doing better. In truth he still felt guilt when he thought of his marriage, but over the time that had passed he had come to terms with most of what had happened. Much of the lingering guilt had to do with wishing he could have told her how he felt, and that she could have had the chance for a proper marriage, with someone who could have appreciated her like she deserved. He knew it wasn’t his fault they had died, and he knew he hadn’t truly been a bad husband so he was able to let most of it go.

 

                He still worked in the A&E and he was still happy there. The return of the happiness in his work had been something of a surprise. He’d expected the place to be haunted by Romana and the child he hadn’t had, but instead, the work was fulfilling and gratifying, and distracted him from his grief and guilt until they faded.

 

                It was three in the afternoon when the nurse came and told him she thought she had a patient with a broken arm. He ordered an x-ray and went to examine the patient the nurse had indicated. He saw a blonde woman, probably early twenties, gripping her left arm at the elbow. Between the wrist and elbow of that arm was a nasty purple swelling. The nurse was probably right, the arm definitely looked broken, though he would wait for the x-ray to verify. He glanced at the woman’s chart before speaking. “Hello, Mrs. Stone. I’m Dr. Noble. We’re going to have your arm x-rayed, but it does look to me like it is fractured. What happened?” It also looked like she had delayed seeking treatment for several hours.

 

                The woman had been looking at the floor the entire time, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she looked at him and answered in a quiet voice. “Oh. I fell down the stairs. Silly me, I’m very clumsy. Jimmy always says what a klutz I am, and now I’ve gone and broken my arm.” Her right eye was covered in a swollen bruise as well. She offered him a grimace that might have been meant as a smile and then looked back down at the ground in front of her.

 

The hair on the back of his neck stood up. He wouldn’t know for sure until he looked at the x-ray, but it looked more like a break one would receive from having one’s arm twisted roughly. It definitely didn’t look like the sort of break that came from a fall. Combined with the black eye… His stomach sank. This was his least favorite type of patient. There was a look of fear and hopelessness in her haunted hazel eyes that told the story that she wouldn’t. This type of patient reminded him most strongly of Romana, not because she looked like her, but because she represented the cause Romana had cared so deeply about. He always hoped to persuade them to tell him the truth before they left, and they never did.


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings: domestic violence

****

 

** Chapter 2 **

 

 

 

                By the time her first wedding anniversary rolled around, Rose knew that she had made the biggest mistake of her life. Jimmy controlled every aspect of her life now, and worse, he controlled her mother’s life as well. So far, Rose had managed to keep Jackie ignorant of this fact. When she had bruises that couldn’t be hidden with makeup, or clothing, she didn’t visit her mother until they healed. Fortunately, her mother didn’t notice the times that Rose’s visits were far between, since she had started a relationship of her own, with a nice man named Howard. After that first, violent outburst, it was as if a switch had flipped. Sweet Jimmy was gone, if he’d ever been real. She still had lots of fancy things, but he controlled what she did, when she did it, and whom she did it with. It wasn’t very long before she lost contact with all of her old friends. Most of them thought that she thought she was better than them now that she had married a man with money. The fine penthouse had become a prison to her.

 

                The injuries so far had not been serious enough to force her to seek medical help. He didn’t want to mark her so badly that she couldn’t be seen at the club for too long. Usually he used her roughly and left bruises on her torso and upper arms, most of which would be under her clothes. She was left with frequent soreness, and vast humiliation. Rose wasn’t sure, but she thought she was beginning to see a pattern in the worst of it. Aside from the first time, there were three other occasion Jimmy hit her in the face hard enough to black her eye. Aside from that first time, they were all occasions when Mr. Saxon had made an appearance at the Gypsy Rain. He might have been there the first night it happened, but she hadn’t been there, so she didn’t know. She wasn’t sure what the connection between the two things could possibly be, but it was the only thing that she had been able to make any sense of in her disastrous situation, so she clung to the theory. She felt almost as if, if she could only understand what was driving him to this behavior, she might be able to bring back the man she had thought she was marrying.

 

                The night of her first wedding anniversary, Rose thought perhaps she would get a visit from sweet Jimmy, maybe even a long-stemmed white rose. She hadn’t received one of the flowers he had given her so many of during their courtship since the night he had first hit her. Instead, he told her not to come in to the club that night and didn’t come home until nearly four in the morning. When he got there Rose had long since gone to sleep. Jimmy wasn’t happy about that and the aftermath resulted in her first trip to the A&E since the nightmare began. She knew it wouldn’t be her last.

 

                When Jimmy finally passed out, she knew that she was going to have to go to the hospital for her arm. He’d twisted her arm before, but this time, he’d wrenched her arm and she had felt an agonizing crack. She knew her face was bruised again, and explaining to the doctors would be… difficult, but she was pretty sure her arm was broken this time. She was terrified to leave while Jimmy was passed out, though, so she curled up in a corner of their bed and tried to find the least painful position for waiting.

 

                Jimmy woke up in the early afternoon, showered and left, all without saying a single word to Rose. She had never been so happy to be ignored before. After he was gone, she got herself ready for the trip to A&E, all the while trying to decide what to tell the doctors. She couldn’t tell them the truth. They would want her to leave Jimmy, and then she and her mum would be on the streets. She wasn’t even sure he would let her leave, anyway. No, she would have to have a story. She would have to convince her bodyguard, as well. He was a large, blank-faced man, named Lazarus, who was more prison guard than bodyguard and he went with her everywhere.

 

                Thankfully, Lazarus hadn’t offered an argument when she asked him to take her to A&E. Instead, he looked her over thoroughly and asked, “Should I call Mr. Stone?” She had hurried to assure him that that wasn’t necessary, and that she was sure they would be home long before Jimmy. She gave him her story about falling down some stairs, and he’d nodded impassively, before walking away towards the car he drove her around in, on those few occasions she was allowed an outing, usually to visit her mum. She breathed a sigh of relief. Her face hurt, but it was a dull ache, and it was completely dwarfed by the agony in her left forearm. She had kept the arm as still as she could in the hours she had waited for Jimmy to wake and leave, but she’d had to dress herself and the shock had long since worn off. She could only hope the pain would lessen once her arm was set, because there was no way she was taking pain killers with Jimmy around. As tempting as the idea was, she did not want to be insensate around him.

 

 

 

 

                She sat in the emergency cubicle staring at the floor after the nurse left. She could tell the nurse didn’t believe her story about falling down stairs, but aside from a quick question about her eye, which Rose had brushed off, she had simply nodded and told her a doctor would be with her shortly. She was concentrating on her breathing in an attempt to ignore her arm when she heard footsteps stop in front of her. After a few seconds during which she heard papers rustling, a voice said, “Hello, Mrs. Stone. I’m Dr. Noble. We’re going to have your arm x-rayed, but it does look to me like it is fractured. What happened?” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she prepared to tell the lie. She looked up at him then and repeated her story about the stairs. She tried to offer him a smile before looking back down at the floor. She had seen it in his eyes before looking away, though. Like the nurse, this doctor saw right through her story. She hoped with everything she had that he would let it be, as the nurse had.

 

                She heard him take another step before speaking again, in a softer voice than before. “And the eye? How did you get a black eye?”

 

                She would have shrugged, but she had a feeling that would be an agonizing movement at the moment. Instead she said, “Oh, that’s nothing. I’ve had loads worse. It’ll be fine in a week or so. Not sure I can walk around with my arm like this, though.” She looked up again after she finished speaking, and yes, there it was, he did not believe her. His expression was a study in conflict. There was sadness, and disbelief, and something far off that she couldn’t identify. For a moment it looked like he would argue with her, then he blinked and a mask of professionalism dropped over his features.

 

                “Right. As you say. We’ll have you to radiology as quickly as possible, and after I’ve examined the x-ray I’ll know if it can be set externally or if there is any damage that warrants surgery. I’ll write a prescription for the pain regardless of the results. That must be excruciating.”

 

                By the time he had finished speaking she was shaking her head as vigorously as the pain in her arm would allow. “No. I can’t have surgery. I have to be home this evening. And no pain pills. I won’t take them, and I don’t think I want them in the house. Just set the arm. It’ll be fine. There’s no way I can have surgery.” Jimmy would flip if she wasn’t home when he got there. She knew that from experience, and the idea of facing his wrath when she was already in this state was terrifying.

 

                “Mrs. Stone, I won’t do anything until I’ve seen what the bones look like. Hopefully you won’t need surgery, and I can set the arm, cast it and send you home. But sometimes surgery is needed to allow proper healing and prevent permanent damage to the site of the fracture. Surely whatever it is you have to do can’t be worth that. And I know that hurts and it’s going to hurt very badly when I set it. There’s no shame in taking something to ease the pain.”

 

                His face was calm and he was looking at her with compassion. It had been a long time since anyone but her mum had said so much to her at once that wasn’t cruel. All of the club employees were too afraid of Jimmy to do more than look at her with pity. Even the band members practically ignored her these days. She was just a bauble, a decoration to them. When she was fit to be seen in public. She hadn’t cried since Jimmy had passed out that morning, and looking up into this doctor’s kind brown eyes she was almost overwhelmed with the urge to let it out. To let the tears flow and tell this man the sad story of her poor life choices. But she couldn’t because, what then? So, she swallowed the tears and whispered around the lump in her throat. “I just can’t.”

 

                He looked at her searchingly for a few moments, and while her resolve held, she felt two of her tears break free and trail down her face. “Okay. I’ll be back after the x-ray.” He turned to leave the cubicle and she struggled for the mask of control she had cultivated since the nightmare began. Just before he disappeared he turned back to her. “I only want to help. If there’s anything… “He trailed off and then shrugged before finally disappearing entirely.

 

 

 

 

 

                James felt a combination of frustration and resignation as he walked away from the blonde woman with the broken arm and the black eye. It wasn’t the first time he had treated a victim of some kind of domestic violence, nor was it the first time such a patient had offered an obviously false explanation for her injuries. Although, she was possibly the most grievously injured that he had treated. Something about this patient, though, had made it particularly difficult to just walk away. So many things about her just screamed “Wrong!” The way she held in nearly all outward reaction to what must have been an unbelievably painful injury. Her utter disregard of her black eye. ‘I’ve had loads worse,’ as if having a black eye was a perfectly normal occurrence in her life. She hadn’t even bothered to come up with a story for it. She hadn’t been worried about surgery for its own sake, or about lasting damage to her arm. Instead, she’d seemed terrified of not returning home as soon as possible. Her refusal of pain medication was equally troubling. Whatever she was returning to, she wanted to face it with a clear head.

 

                It had been a slow day, and there weren’t any other patients who required his immediate attention, so he found himself pacing near the nurse’s station waiting for the pictures of her arm. It wasn’t his place to call her on her story. It wasn’t his place to get involved in her problems. His place was to treat her injuries. He had watched other people with similarly suspicious injuries return to the spouses who had caused them. It always saddened him, but he had never felt the pressing need to get involved. If pressed, such patients often defended their abusers. But there had been something in her eyes, a complete hopelessness and helplessness that pulled at him. Whatever her situation, she didn’t think she could get out of it. Part of him hoped the break was simple, so he could set her arm and send her home before she could bring any more trouble on herself. He had a feeling ‘Jimmy’, whom he assumed was her husband, didn’t know she was here. The other part of him hoped he could insist on surgery and keep her in hospital. That thought brought a wave of guilt. No, he wouldn’t wish to make her life more difficult, but he couldn’t help but wish that she wouldn’t go back to whomever had broken her arm.

 

                Forty-five minutes later he decided to be relieved on her behalf when the pictures showed a break he could easily set and cast. He also decided to make one more attempt at getting her to tell him what had really happened to her. If she still insisted she had broken her own arm falling, he would let it go and hope she didn’t return in the future with even worse injuries. He wasn’t sure what he would do if she did tell him the truth, but he suspected he wouldn’t have to make that choice.

 

He entered the emergency cubicle to find the woman, Mrs. Rose Stone, sitting still, hunched over looking at the ground, just as she had been the first time he had seen her. “Mrs. Stone? I’ve looked at the pictures of your arm, and surgery will not be called for. I’ll be able to set and cast your arm and send you on your way.” She looked up at his voice, and again he was struck by her vulnerability. He didn’t think he had ever seen anyone look so lost.

 

“It’s Rose.”

 

“I’m sorry?” He knew what she had said, he just didn’t understand why she was offering him her first name.

 

“It’s Rose. I… I hate being called Mrs. Stone, that’s all. Just Rose. Please.”

 

She still looked hollow and haunted, but he could see a tiny spark when she insisted he refer to her by her own identity, instead of her married name. “Alright, Rose. Before we get to taking care of your arm, are you certain I can’t give you something for the pain? Setting a bone is extremely painful.”

 

“No. No pain medicine. I’ll take some paracetamol when I get home.”

 

That must be really important to her for some reason. He nodded slowly. “Okay. Are you sure there isn’t anything else you want to tell me? If someone’s hurting you… You don’t have to go back to an unsafe situation if you don’t want to.” He tried to convey with his eyes that she could trust him. To will her to tell him the truth. He watched her swallow and thought, maybe…

 

“No. Thank you, doctor, but I fell down the stairs.” She seemed to struggle with herself for a moment, while she continued to look into his eyes. He had time to notice they were a lovely golden-hazel color before she spoke again. “Even if I didn’t, I haven’t anywhere else to go. And I’m not the only one I’d be risking. I won’t have my mum on the streets to save myself discomfort. But thank you. I…” Her lips trembled and tears welled but didn’t fall. “I can’t remember the last time anyone cared enough to even ask. So thank you.”


	4. Chapter 4

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, domestic violence

****

 

 

** Chapter 3 **

 

 

 

 

                He had three hours left on his shift when he finished with Mrs. Stone. Rose. She had asked not to be called by her married name, and he couldn’t blame her. Not if Mr. Stone was the one to break her arm and black her eye. He tried not to let his thoughts dwell on her, but her words kept running through his mind. He would probably never see her again, and he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t get her out of his head. Her almost-confession and near-explanation just wouldn’t leave him alone. There weren’t many times he found himself counting the minutes until the end of his shift, but tonight was one of those times. He needed to walk away and reset his head, because right now he was just going through the motions.

 

                He’d thought it would be a relief to go home, and leave the work behind for a time, but it only gave him more freedom to dwell on Rose Stone. ‘Even if I didn’t,’ she’d said. It was nearly an admission that she hadn’t broken her arm falling downstairs. All tied up with the assumption that it didn’t really matter how her arm had been broken. ‘To save myself discomfort,’ she’d said. As if a battered face and a brutally broken arm could be labelled ‘discomfort’. ‘I’m not the only one I’d be risking.’ She’d said she had nowhere to go, and somehow her mum would be at risk if she tried to get out of her situation. Well, he could at least understand that part. He still felt the loss of his parents as a hole in his life at times, so he could understand her not wanting to endanger her mother. He couldn’t see how leaving an abusive situation could be a danger to her mother, but he could understand the impulse. The thing that kept running through his head though, the thing that kept ringing in his ears was ‘I can’t remember the last time anyone cared enough to even ask.’ She hadn’t defended the one who had hurt her. She had simply accepted it as her reality. No one in her life was bothered by her problems, and he strongly suspected she wouldn’t have sought treatment at all if the damage hadn’t been severe.

 

                He had to stop thinking about her. He was meeting Donna for lunch tomorrow and he wanted to give her the support she needed right now. Three months ago her fiancée had left her standing at the altar to run off with another woman. She had been there for him when he’d lost Romana and the baby, had been the only one to whom he had confessed what he had realized about their relationship while she was dying on the operating table. She had helped him come to terms with his guilt and now he wanted to be there for her. They were the only family either of them had left. The first month after the failed wedding she had been a wreck, but she had been getting better ever since. When she asked him to meet her for lunch she’d said she had some news that she wanted to share and she’d sounded happier than she had since Lance. He decided to make a cup of tea and then try to sleep. His sister was the most important woman in his life and that was something he could handle, so that was where he would focus his energy. He would just have to forget about haunted hazel eyes.

 

 

 

 

                Rose let Lazarus lead her back to the car for the ride home in silence. It had been a great relief when the doctor hadn’t insisted on surgery, but she wasn’t sure what had possessed her to all but confirm his suspicions about her injuries. After she had said it, she had been grateful that her guard had been made to stay in the waiting area. She shuddered at the thought of such statements being reported to Jimmy. She really didn’t know why she had answered him except that his question had been surprisingly blunt and his eyes seemed to promise help. But that was ridiculous, of course. It wasn’t as if the man was going to personally ensure that she and her mum were safe if she tried to leave the nightmare. Life wasn’t a fairy tale, even if the doctor had looked like a prince charming. Jimmy used to look like prince charming, too.

 

                Setting her arm had indeed hurt like hell. She had been unable to stop herself from shouting at the sharp spike in pain, or from crying a bit after it was over. The doctor had again offered her medication for the pain, and she had refused again, despite the temptation. Among the many reasons she did not want prescription painkillers around was the fear that if she had access to them, she would be tempted to take them all at once. She couldn’t imagine that Jimmy would want anything to do with Jackie if Rose herself were entirely out of the picture, but she couldn’t do that to her mum. She hadn’t reached that level of despair yet, and besides, the prescription for a broken arm would probably not be strong enough to finish the job. A failed attempt would be even worse for her mum.

 

                She wouldn’t be able to hide the broken arm from her mum, but she could give her the same story about falling downstairs. She would just have to delay visiting again until her face healed. As for Jimmy, well, he was definitely going to notice the cast. She could only hope that he would decide to be glad that she had dealt with it without his interference. Hopefully he wouldn’t decide that she couldn’t be seen until it was healed. Or punish her for having let the people in the hospital see her like that. Usually he forbade her from leaving the flat at all when her face was bruised.

 

                It was early evening when they returned to the flat. Rose hadn’t gotten enough sleep and her body had been through a brutal assault. She was beginning to feel the exhaustion that follows such an ordeal, but she did not want to be asleep again when Jimmy came home. She set an alarm for just before midnight, which was the earliest that he had ever come home. She shuffled to the master bathroom for a double dose of paracetamol and curled up in the bed she had come to hate for a few hours of restless sleep. Then it would be time to face the monster again.

 

 

 

 

                James’ sleep had been troubled. His dreams had been filled with the battered face of Rose Stone. She had been begging for his help. He woke up irritated with himself for this fixation. It was absurd. He didn’t know her. He had met her one time. And she had not begged for his help. He had offered, and she had refused. Well, he supposed he hadn’t really offered help. He had just told her she didn’t have to go back. She had disagreed, for reasons he didn’t understand. He hoped he wouldn’t see her again, because if he did, it would likely be as a patient after being assaulted again. If she did reappear, he told himself he would do a better job offering proper help. If she had no one to turn to, if she needed a place for her and her mother to hide, he could help with that. Then he did his best to forget about her and think about his sister.

 

                Donna was already at the restaurant when he arrived, and she jumped up and seized him in a tight hug when he approached. “Good to see you, Spaceman.” She pulled back and looked at him “You look like hell, James. Is everything alright?”

 

                He smiled at her as they sat down. “Good to see you too, Earthgirl. I’m fine. Had a rough night, but nothing major.”

 

                She looked at him closely. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

                “No, no, no. Nothing to talk about, really. Besides, you said you had news and you sounded excited. That’s why we’re here. So, let’s hear it.” She gave him the look that he knew meant that she wasn’t done with this part of the conversation before she nodded and launched into her news. She had been walking past a speech therapy clinic on her way to a deli a few doors down to grab lunch one day last week. While she was walking past, the grocery bag she had been carrying had split, spilling oranges and broccoli and carrots all over the ground. A man happened to be exiting the clinic when it happened and he had helped her gather her errant produce. Then they had had lunch together. And dinner that night. And every night since. His name was Lee, and Donna said he was the sweetest man she had ever met.

 

                “Donna, that’s brilliant. I’m happy for you, really. I just want you to be careful.”

 

                “Oh, this one’s nothing like Lance. Overly chivalrous and polite. Like he can’t believe I’m talking to him. I’d like you to meet him. But, before you do, I wanted to warn you. He has a slight stutter. That’s why he was coming out of the clinic. Now, before you go trying to slip away, tell me about your rough night. I haven’t seen you look so exhausted in a while. What’s troubling you? Out with it.”

 

                He sighed. He had known she wouldn’t let it go. “Look, it’s really nothing. Just a patient I couldn’t get out of my head.”

 

                “And worry kept you up all night? Is it a trauma patient? Someone critically injured? Oh god, James, is it a hit and run victim?” Now Donna was getting worked up, and for all the wrong reasons.

 

                “No, nothing like that. Well, there was trauma involved, but not like you mean. She… She was a woman who came in yesterday. Had a broken arm and a black eye. She said she fell down some stairs, but you don’t get a black eye falling downstairs, and you don’t break your arm like that falling downstairs, either. Someone did that to her. Probably her husband. Not like I haven’t seen battered spouses before, but something about her, Donna… She barely cried at all and she refused any pain medication. I haven’t ever seen anyone look so alone. She didn’t exactly admit to being beaten, but she said she wouldn’t put her mum on the streets to spare herself discomfort. Discomfort, Donna! Like a broken arm was a mere inconvenience. I told her she didn’t have to go back and she looked at me with such hopelessness, like I had just said the most impossible thing she could imagine.”

 

                Donna looked horrified. “He broke her arm?! Oh, James, that is… vile. I’m sorry. She didn’t have anywhere she could go?”

 

                “She specifically said not. And it’s none of my goddamned business, but I just can’t stop thinking about her. He didn’t just break her arm, Donna. He twisted it until it the bones snapped. She must have had to wait for something before she could go to A&E because it had clearly been hours since it had happened. I… I dreamed about her all last night. She was begging for my help.” He knew his voice was painted with anguish, but he couldn’t control it and he couldn’t understand it. She was a stranger to him. Why should her pain touch him more than that of any other patient he came into contact with?

 

                Donna knew that domestic violence was a sensitive subject for him. Romana had dedicated her working life to helping such victims. “Could we… I mean, I know, patient confidentiality and all, but could we maybe find her? Help her get out? No wonder you couldn’t stop thinking about her. That is brutal, James.”

 

                “I don’t think that’s a good idea. For one, you’re right, patient confidentiality. For another thing, I asked if she had a ride home, and she told me her ‘bodyguard’ had driven her. I don’t know who her husband is, but when she said bodyguard, I heard minder. Even if we could find her, I think things are very complicated if there’s enough money involved for there to be a bodyguard.”

 

                “So? We have money. We have lots of money.”

 

                “Yes, Donna. We do. And we don’t have bodyguards. Do you see what I mean?”

 

 

 

 

                Rose clawed her way back to consciousness when her alarm went off. The awareness of the agony in her arm helped, as did the jolt of panic as she rushed to assure herself that she had indeed woken before her husband’s arrival. Once that was done she made a cup of tea and settled down to wait. She paged mindlessly through a magazine as she waited. Two hours and three cups of tea later Jimmy stumbled on his way through the door.

 

                “Ah, Rose, good, you’re awake.” He smiled at her cruelly. “I suppose Mrs. Stone learned her lesson last night, then? A man likes his wife to be waiting for him when he comes home from work, you know.”

 

                She stood and tried to steel herself for his reaction to her cast. She plastered a smile on her face. “Hi Jimmy.”

 

                His eyes flicked briefly to her arm and his smile became indulgent. For some reason that was even more frightening. “Oh, good! I was afraid you might be too stupid to get that taken care of on your own. Well done, Mrs. Stone, one less thing for me to worry about.” This manic, forced cheer was one of his more terrifying moods, so Rose stayed frozen, waiting to see what he would do next. This was Jimmy at his most unpredictable. “Nothing we can do about your face, though I suppose. We have two weeks, so it should be just fine. Makeup will cover it by then.” She had no idea what he meant, but she nodded. He walked up to her then and she held herself perfectly still as he looked into her eyes. She didn’t know what it was but something was very wrong. Jimmy was afraid of something, and it most certainly wasn’t her. She didn’t flinch when he reached up and touched her chin with one finger. “I’ll just have to be careful of your face until then. We have an important thing with Mr. Saxon in two weeks. He’s throwing a birthday party for his wife at the club. You will be presentable and you will play the perfect hostess, yes?”

 

                “Of course, Jimmy.” There it was. The thing he was afraid of. The party, or Mr. Saxon himself, or something else related to that event, but something about it had Jimmy very worried. And a worried Jimmy was a volatile Jimmy.

 

                He dropped his finger and turned away. “Now go to bed, bitch. I can’t look at you like that.”

 

                Rose took an unsteady breath and did as she was told. That was what she did.


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings: domestic violence

 

 

** Chapter 4 **

 

 

 

                It was September, and it had been six months since James had set Rose Stone’s broken arm. For the last two of the six he had managed to push all thoughts of her to the back of his mind, and he only dreamed about her every once in a while. That was a relief, since he had dreamed of her almost nightly for the first few weeks after their encounter. Always, always she begged him to help her. He’d thought it would drive him mad at first. Just when he’d begun to think that he’d rather avoid sleep altogether than be tormented by her pleas, the dreams had faded and life had moved on.

 

                Lee had proposed to Donna two weeks ago, so he now had something else he could focus his thoughts on. Namely making sure the groom attended the wedding this time. Although, admittedly he liked Lee a great deal more than he had liked Lance. And the shy man seemed to completely adore Donna, so he hoped that this one would stick, for her sake. They hadn’t set a date yet, and Donna had confided that they were considering eloping. She didn’t think she could handle sending out invitations again after the humiliation last time. He and Lee both still hoped to convince her that she deserved to have a proper wedding. That alone made James like Lee that much more.

 

                It was three in the morning, and he was considering whether he could stomach another cup of coffee, or if it was time to switch to tea for the remainder of his shift when he was approached by one of the nurses on duty. Rory Williams was one of James’ favorite nurses to work with. The young man could have been a doctor, but he said he preferred the closer patient contact nursing offered. Rory was a brilliant nurse. He treated all of his patients with warmth, and never got upset when they were unpleasant. He said he couldn’t blame people for being grumpy when they were sick or hurt. On this early morning Rory looked troubled. “Dr. Noble? I’m pretty sure I have a dislocated shoulder over here. Could you take a look?”

 

                “Of course.” Rory handed him a chart and he looked down at it as he headed in the direction the nurse had indicated, Rory himself trailing along after him. He stopped suddenly when he saw the name on the chart and Rory nearly walked into him from behind. He spun around. “Did she say it was an accident?”

 

                The nurse’s apparent discomfort grew as he nodded at James. “Yeah, but… She’s got a split lip, too, and there’s just something in her eyes. Like a person trying to hide that they’re terrified out of their wits.”

 

                James clenched his jaw and headed towards the emergency cubicle that once again held Rose Stone. Just as she had been before she was sitting gripping her left arm, looking at the floor. His heart lurched at the dejectedness in her pose. He still didn’t know why he was so affected by her. He remembered her preference for her first name and spoke softly. “Rose? It’s Dr. Noble. Rory tells me that your shoulder looks to be dislocated. May I take a look?” He’d try to get through to her after he’d fixed her shoulder. She looked up at him then, and he realized something. The bruising on her face had obscured her features when he had seen her the first time. He’d noticed the striking color of her eyes, but not much else beyond the severity of her injury. This time he could see her clearly and she was lovely, despite the unnaturally pale tone of her skin and the swollen, slightly bloody lower lip. What kind of person would do such damage to such a creature?

 

                There was also a desperation he didn’t remember in her luminous eyes as she responded. “Yeah. Please. Just fix me up and I’ll get out of your hair. I hate to be a bother, but Jimmy didn’t know how to pop it back in and I couldn’t do it myself. I dislocated it once when I was a kid, but…” She was speaking rapidly and there was a tinge of panic in her voice.

 

                Rory spoke over his shoulder then. “Rose. You’re not a bother. It’s fairly simple to fix a dislocated shoulder.”

 

                “Right you are, Rory. Let’s get you taken care of, shall we?” It wasn’t strictly true. Sometimes it required surgery, but he knew she would object to that. He examined her shoulder, and sure enough, it was dislocated. With minimal fuss he got her arm popped back into place. Once again, she showed almost no external reaction. Her capacity to tolerate pain was unbelievable. He asked Rory to give them a moment so he could speak to her in private then he prepared himself to offer the help he had promised himself he would offer if he ever saw her again. “Rose. That didn’t happen by accident just like your arm wasn’t broken by accident. Who’s doing this to you? Is it your husband? Is it Jimmy? You don’t have to go back. If you and your mother need a place to hide, I can do that for you. You don’t have to go through this.” He knew it was an inappropriate offer. But it was something he could do, and he was more than willing to do it. She looked at him like she was trying to read his very soul. He tried to pour his complete sincerity into his own gaze.

 

                Finally she spoke quietly. “I can’t. I’m pregnant.” For one instant he didn’t see her face. For just a split-second he saw Dr. Smith’s blue eyes as the reluctant words, “The baby,” fell from his lips. Then he was snapped back to the present as the implications of her statement solidified in his mind.

 

                “Then that’s all the more reason to get out. If he’s done all of this to you he surely can’t be trusted with a child. Please. Let me help you. I want to.”

 

                She sighed and shook her head at him. “You don’t understand.” Her voice was dull, now, instead of frantic. “He’s my husband and it’s his child. He owns the house my mother lives in. We have nothing, nothing that doesn’t belong to him. We didn’t have much of our own before and we have even less of it now. I have no education and we have no way to support ourselves. We have no one we could go to, and even if we did, I wouldn’t want to subject them to Jimmy. I don’t even know what he’s capable of.”

 

                He closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the frustration. She was going to leave and the next time he saw her it would be worse. He made one more attempt. “Please. Rose. You’re not safe.” He opened his eyes. The moment she had told him she was pregnant an irrationally fierce protective urge had risen up, beyond even what he had felt before. “And neither is your child. Let me help you.”

                                                 

                She stared at him. “I don’t know why you’d want to help me. I don’t know why you would care. Thank you for that. But I can’t.”

 

                Before he called Rory back to finish her discharge, he gave her his card. He wrote his personal mobile number on the back and told her that she could call him at any time if she changed her mind. She thanked him again, but he could tell by the look on her face that she had no intention of using the phone number he had given her.

 

 

 

 

                She accidentally overheard Jimmy talking on the phone but she couldn’t make any sense of what she had heard. It seemed to be a conversation about declining business, but the club was just as packed nightly as it had been the first night she had been there as far as she could tell. Unfortunately Jimmy noticed her presence as soon as he hung up and flew into a rage that she had dared eavesdrop on his conversation. When he dislocated her shoulder, he cursed her for being a stupid breakable whore who wasn’t even good for a shag. Then, even though it was the middle of the night, he had woken Lazarus and told him to take her to A&E.

 

                She had once again found herself sitting in an emergency cubicle trying to explain her injury to a nurse. Just like the first time, she knew the nurse didn’t believe her story. He told her he’d be back with a doctor momentarily and then he was walking away. She returned to staring at the floor. She was slightly shocked to recognize the voice of the same doctor who had set her broken arm six months before, asking to examine her arm. With the chocolate eyes and the kind voice. But she was more frightened than she had ever been. She hadn’t told Jimmy that she was pregnant, and she didn’t know what his reaction would be. But she knew he was still angry with her and he would be waiting for her to finish here as quickly as possible. So she frantically tried to encourage the doctor to fix her arm so she could leave.

 

                Both the nurse and the doctor tried to calm her and then the doctor popped her arm back into the socket where it belonged. There was instant relief, though it certainly still hurt. Then the doctor asked the nurse to give them a moment and they were left alone in the cubicle. She looked up at him and was momentarily distracted. How had she failed to notice just how attractive this doctor was? He was years older than she was, but still young for a doctor, and he had a light dusting of freckles across his face that gave him a younger appearance. She shook off the unexpected and unwanted thought when he began to speak. He knew about Jimmy. Of course he did, she’d practically told him when he’d set her arm. He was offering to hide her? And her mum? Why would he do that? She was nothing, and certainly no one to someone like him. He barely knew her, and he knew nothing about how dangerous Jimmy might be. She looked into his eyes, as if she could read the answers to her questions written there. Finally she decided that he already knew enough, she might as well tell him the rest. “I can’t. I’m pregnant.”

 

                For an instant after those words left her mouth she saw the curtain of memory fall over his eyes before his attention snapped back to her. Then he was telling her that was even more of a reason to let him help her. For a moment she considered whether he really could help. But then she remembered that she and her mother had no way to support themselves, and he wouldn’t do that for a stranger, and she could hardly get a job now that she was pregnant. No one would hire her. And Jimmy would never let her go. He’d come looking for them, and then this kind man would get hurt as well. She knew enough by now to know that Jimmy was mixed up in something shady and there were some very nasty people involved. So she gave him the best explanation she could about their situation. He begged her again to let him help, and this time when he looked at her there was some powerful emotion shimmering in his eyes. She didn’t know what it was, or why it was there, so she just said, “I don’t know why you’d want to help me. I don’t know why you would care. Thank you for that. But I can’t.”

 

                She could tell that he didn’t agree with her when he gave her his card and wrote an additional number on the back. He told her she could call anytime if she changed her mind. She smiled sadly, because she knew she’d never call him. She wasn’t his responsibility and she couldn’t stand to drag another innocent person into her nightmare. Then he was calling the nurse back and they were writing her discharge papers. They had given her an immobilizer for her arm and she had hidden the doctor’s card at the very bottom of her bag. Dr. James Noble, the card said. Then she was back in the car with Lazarus. It wasn’t even time for the sun to rise yet.

 

 

 

 

 

               This time, when he walked away from Rose, he knew he would not be able to get her out of his head. He’d barely managed to push thoughts of her aside after their first meeting. Seeing her name on the chart, all of those deflected thoughts had come rushing back. Finding her sitting in the same broken position had convinced him that he’d been fooling himself to think he could forget her. He’d looked into her eyes and seen the desperation on her beautiful face, and he’d known. His clinical detachment had gone right out the window. It was incredibly inappropriate for him to make the offer he had made, but she hadn’t known that he’d been offering to hide her in his own home. That his worry for her had crossed out of the realm of doctor to patient.

 

               Then she’d dropped her bomb and he’d felt the world shift. The visceral memory of the moment he’d both gained and lost his own child. The thought of her returning, pregnant, to the one responsible for the injuries he had treated was unacceptable. But they were very nearly complete strangers, and he couldn’t justify his emotional response. Not to her, not even to himself. He couldn’t quite understand her continued refusal until she said they had nothing and no way to support themselves. Of course. She must be some kind of trophy wife or something, and everything she had was provided by her husband. If she left she couldn’t even provide for herself or her mum, as she had told him six months ago. But more than that now, she couldn’t provide for her child, either. She had no way of knowing that that was the furthest thing from a problem for him. He hadn’t even known how far his own willingness to help went until he was looking down at her again.

 

              He didn’t know who Jimmy Stone was, aside from an abusive husband. He knew the man had money, so she would probably have access to fine prenatal care. But if her husband continued to treat her in the same manner she would lose the child. He couldn’t stop her from going back. He couldn’t force her to accept his help. She clearly had very little reason to trust anyone, least of all a stranger. However, he couldn’t wait passively for her to pass back into his life, damaged again by one who should have kept her safe.

 

              He knew he wasn’t thinking rationally about this situation. He had become emotionally involved. He needed to get an independent perspective. He could talk to Donna again, but she’d just want him to sweep in and rescue her. Things were far too complicated for that approach. There was another option. Martha Jones had been resident at the same time as him, and had gone on to become an ob/gyn. Her professional opinion and specialization might mean she could help him. Help him find a way to lead Rose Stone out of that nightmare. He resolved to call her tomorrow and then forced himself to focus on the other patients who needed his help.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter and the very beginning of the next chapter marks the lowest point for Rose. I promise, after that it gets better for her.

Warnings: The last paragraph of this chapter contains a very disturbing and semi-graphic description of a domestic abuse situation.

 

 

 

** Chapter 5 **

 

 

 

                James got very little sleep after his shift at the hospital ended that morning. After waking twice from dreams where Rose begged for his help he’d given it up as pointless. He gave in and called Martha. He didn’t have a shift today, but he was surprised when Martha answered and said she had a long lunch break today, and that she’d love to meet him. He was anxious for advice from someone other than his sister, so he was waiting at the restaurant when Martha arrived. “James!” Martha smiled warmly as she sat down. “So good to see you! How’s Donna? I heard she got engaged again.”

 

                “Yes. She did. I think this one might even stick around. How have you been? How’s the baby business?” He didn’t know exactly how to bring up the topic he wanted to discuss, and he hadn’t seen her for several weeks. He smiled back at her, but Martha was perceptive, and he knew she’d be able to tell he was troubled.

 

                “Oh, you know I love it. Most of my patients are scared, but excited and happy. It’s a completely different atmosphere than A&E. I don’t know how you do that, really.” She looked at him critically then. “You look exhausted, by the way. Bad shift? What are you doing having lunch with me instead of sleeping it off?”

 

                He tried to gather his thoughts. This was the opening he needed to tell her about Rose. “Well, yeah, that’s kind of why I called you actually. There’s this… I need some advice. About a patient.”

 

                Martha’s eyebrows rose. “You need my advice about a patient in A&E? Why?”

 

                “Just… She came in about six months ago with a broken arm and a black eye. She said she’d fallen down some stairs, but it wasn’t that kind of break. Someone broke her arm. I mean, of course, I’ve seen that sort of thing before, but never that vicious. I set her arm and she left, and I tried to forget her but… I just couldn’t. She was so broken, and said she didn’t have anywhere to go, didn’t want to put her mum on the streets. Called her black eye and her broken arm discomfort! Then, last night, well, early this morning really, she’s back. Dislocated shoulder this time. And a split lip, not that she even mentioned that. Just wanted her arm put back in place so she could go home. I… She’s been haunting me since that first time, so I offered her a place to hide. It’s her husband hurting her. She refused, of course she did, I’m a bloody stranger, but then she told me that she’s pregnant Martha and, fuck!” He knew he was starting to rant, and Martha didn’t deserve to be the recipient of his frustration but he couldn’t stop the words. “She was under my skin already, before, I’m already afraid of what she’ll look like the next time I see her. She’s so strong, never takes anything for the pain, hardly ever cries. If you’d seen her arm, Martha. She only cried when I set it, and then she just swallowed the pain up. Now, now I’m fucking terrified. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. She’s a patient. I should just walk away. I’ve done all that I can, more than I should have. But she’s not going to make it to term if he keeps bloody beating her!”

 

                Martha was sitting back in her chair, eyes wide, mouth hanging slightly open in shock at his angry speech. She tried to sort through his tirade for the important information. Well, it was all important, but a few details stood out above the rest. First, it sounded like he had offered to personally hide this woman from her husband. That level of emotional attachment was out of character for him, so there must be something she was missing about her. He’d said she’d been haunting him. Second, the baby understandably complicated things, both for this unnamed patient, and for James. For obvious reasons. She tried to choose her words carefully. “That is terrible. You’re right, she should get out. But you know she won’t leave unless she wants to.”

 

                “That’s just it. I think that she does want to leave. She’s never defended him. But she doesn’t have anyone. She and her mother don’t have anything that doesn’t belong to her husband. She’s afraid to leave because she wouldn’t be able to support herself or the baby. I get the impression that she thinks he’d follow her anyway. It’s why I offered to hide her. I don’t care about any of that, and believe me when I say that’s almost as scary as the rest. I’m not afraid of her husband, he doesn’t even know who I am. I don’t care if I’d have to support her, and her mum, and the baby. I can’t even explain that to myself. How do I explain that to her without sounding like a complete nutter, when I sound like one to myself?”

 

                “You care about her. What do you want to do? She already turned you down. Are you considering tracking her down and asking again?” Martha’s tone made it clear she would disapprove of that course of action.

 

                “No. Maybe. I don’t know. Probably not. But will you watch for a blonde prenatal patient, with hazel eyes and indications of abuse?”

 

                “I would never ignore signs of abuse in a patient. Do you want to tell me her name?”

 

                “Rose. Rose Stone.”

 

 

 

 

                He didn’t feel any better after lunch with Martha. Unless he was willing to track Rose down and possibly kidnap her, he’d have to wait and see if she appeared at A&E again. That thought made him feel wretched, but what else could he do? He didn’t have any other plans for the day, and by the time he got home, he had decided to try sleeping again. He would likely still be tormented by dreams, but his lack of sleep the night before was starting to catch up to him. On his way to his bedroom, his phone rang. He looked down at the number in surprise. It was an old friend he hadn’t spoken to in at least a year and a half. He had met Jack when he was an undergraduate, and the American had spent a year at the university James attended. They had kept in touch sporadically in the years since. Jack worked for some kind of top-secret international organization and was frequently unavailable for long stretches of time. Sometimes he would visit James when he was between assignments. He wasn’t really in the mood for the man’s flirtatious banter, but a distraction would be nice. “Hello, Jack. How are you? It’s been ages.”

 

                “Dr. James Noble! How the hell are you? It’s been far too long, but you know, work and all. I’m here for a while, though, now. Want to meet for a pint tonight? You could bring your lovely sister.”

 

                “Donna’s engaged Jack. I’m fairly certain Lee would not approve. But, yeah, I’d love to. Need to get my mind off some things, anyway. What time?”

 

                “Damn! I knew I’d waited too long for the ginger beauty. Ah, well. Meet at seven? The usual pub?”

 

                “See you then, Jack.”

 

 

 

 

                He found Jack Harkness in a booth at the pub just down the street from his house. “James, great to see you!” Jack had jumped up and given him a hug before sliding back into the booth where James joined him. Looking at him across the table, Jack continued, “Damn, doc. You look like shit. What’s going on?”

 

                “Oh, you know how it is. Late shift last night. Particularly worrisome patient. I’ll tell you all about it later.” And he would. But he didn’t want to blindside his friend with that story already. “First, though, what did you mean you’re here for a while, now? Got an assignment here in London?” He held his hands up. “I know, I’m not asking you for details. Just wondering if I’ll be seeing more of you.”

 

                “Yeah, I do. I’m coming in as support for a deep cover agent. She’s been working the case for years, and now it’s looking like she’s only a few months from resolution. I’m backup. But for now, I’m just a bartender. So, I’ll have time to catch up with my favorite doctor. Now, tell me what’s put that look in your eyes.”

 

                He sighed, and rubbed his hands down his face. “I’ve… I’ve become emotionally invested in a patient. A married, pregnant victim of domestic abuse.”

 

                “Christ, James, are you having an affair?!”

 

                “No! Not like that. Well… I do care about her. More than I should, considering I’ve only seen her twice. I’ve never seen such a combination of strength and fragility. And the abuse, Jack, it’s extreme. The worst I’ve seen.”

 

                “Attractive?”

 

                “Yes, Jack, very attractive. But I barely noticed the first time, because her bloody face was black and blue. And I was occupied setting the arm her husband had brutally broken. I offered her a place to hide, but I didn’t really understand the gravity of the situation. I mean, I understand that her husband might bloody well kill her the next time, but I didn’t realize that she doesn’t have anything of her own. No way to support herself without him. I didn’t phrase my offer so she understood I don’t care about that. I should care, but I don’t. I see her eyes every time I close mine.”

 

                Jack let out a whistle as James wound down. “You do care about her. How much?” Jack knew that James hadn’t dated at all since Romana, choosing to focus all of his energy on work, instead.

 

                James closed his eyes. “I don’t know. I know her pain is mental agony for me. I know I dream of her begging me for help, over and over. I know that I spent six months trying every distraction I could think of to forget about her. I knew when I saw her again this morning that I was willing to go to extremes to get her out of there. But I don’t know how to explain these emotions, and I don’t have a clue what to do about it. I just know that murdering the bastard is probably not the best choice.”

 

                Jack considered how much of his brand of help James might be willing to accept before deciding to delay that offer for a bit. “Look, I start on my assignment tomorrow night, but like I said, I expect a fair amount of downtime until things come to a head there. After I’ve gotten settled, and I see just how far from a resolution we are, I’ll see if I can do anything about your girl. Okay?”

 

 

 

 

                Jack stood behind the bar and looked out across the press of bodies at the crowded club. The bar itself was lined with people as well, but at the moment no one was flagging him down. He was using the time to get a feel for this assignment. His new partner had been working under cover for almost five years. She was something of a legend at the organization. Her final target was a criminal overlord known as The Master. His cartel moved illegal arms and drugs in major cities all over the world, as well as being involved in human trafficking. The man himself was elusive, but Torchwood had tentatively identified him seven years ago as a man named Harold Saxon. Saxon was the majority owner of this club, Gypsy Rain. Jack’s partner had been working to tie him to drug sales and money laundering going on here. She’d been undercover long enough to be a member of the house band. Her route to Saxon was through the club’s other owner, the band’s singer, a man named Jimmy Stone.

 

                Jack scanned his eyes down the bar, making sure his services weren’t being called for, before looking at the woman sitting at the far end of the bar, near the currently empty stage. He’d been introduced to Rose Stone, before being told firmly not to be too friendly with the boss’ wife. The pretty young woman sat huddled in on herself staring down at the bar. Her left arm was in an immobilizer. There was a glass of water in front of her that was nearly untouched. He remembered James’ story, about the patient he had tried to help, and couldn’t help wondering if this woman was in a similar situation. She looked all alone, even in this crowd of people. Even in this place that was partially hers, since she was Stone’s wife. He suddenly understood his friend’s desire to help that other woman much better. He didn’t know the beautiful woman at the end of the bar, and he highly doubted she knew anything about the club’s alternate sources of income. He resolved that when he and River took down The Master, he would make sure Mrs. Stone was protected from the fallout. And he would make sure that the girl James cared so much about got out of her situation, too.

 

 

 

 

                Rose hadn’t yet figured out how to tell Jimmy about the baby. It definitely hadn’t been planned, and she had no idea if he would be furious or pleased. He’d told her to make an appearance at the club tonight, and then he’d disappeared as soon as the band’s set had ended. She knew that the new bartender was watching her as she sat staring at the bar. He’d smiled warmly at her when he’d been introduced to her earlier, and she knew he wasn’t yet as afraid of Jimmy as the others. She also knew better than to cultivate a friendship with him. Mrs. Stone didn’t have any friends. So, she ignored the weight of his bright blue eyes and continued trying to decide if it would be better to tell Jimmy here, where there would be people around in case he reacted badly, or at home, where he couldn’t get angry about having an audience.

 

                She knew that it was probably too much to hope that the news would bring back sweet Jimmy. That Dr. Noble, the doctor in A&E who had given her his card, would be wrong. She just couldn’t help it. Even if it didn’t, maybe he would be more reluctant to hurt her if she was carrying his child. She had decided that she would tell him at home and hope for the best when Jimmy himself appeared at her elbow. It was only midnight, so she was surprised when he said, “We’re leaving early tonight. I have a meeting with Mr. Saxon first thing in the morning.” He grinned down at her. “I need some relaxation tonight so I can be at my best tomorrow.” Rose’s stomach dropped, and for a moment she reconsidered her decision to tell him in private. She didn’t have time, though, because Jimmy had seized her uninjured arm and had begun pulling her through the crowded room towards the exit. Neither of them noticed the bartender’s eyes following them across the club.

 

                After a silent ride home, during which Rose attempted to gather her courage and mask her fear, they walked into the flat together. He started to continue towards their bedroom, but she stopped him when she spoke. “Jimmy?”

 

                He turned back around to her. “What? Come on, bedtime Mrs. Stone.”

 

                “Jimmy, I need to tell you something.” He opened his mouth to reply and she rushed ahead before her courage could desert her. “I’m pregnant.” His mouth closed with a click and he studied her. She couldn’t tell yet what his reaction was. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her mouth was dry.

 

                He stepped closer to her. “You’re what?” His voice was quiet, and her fear spiked even higher.

 

 

 

 

 

*chapter warning applies to next paragraph*

 

 

 

 

 

 

                She tried to work some moisture back into her mouth before she responded. “I’m pregnant.” She didn’t see him move. She went from standing looking up at him to laying on the floor huddled over intense pain in her abdomen. Jimmy was bent over her, an insane fire in his green eyes. He was screaming something, but her brain couldn’t make sense of the words. She saw him draw back his foot and the world exploded in agony again. She vaguely felt him grab her hair, but she couldn’t spare any attention away from the fiery pain in her middle and her terror for her baby. He’s going to kill us. Then everything went black.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fallout. I couldn't leave you hanging any longer.

Warnings: severe trauma caused by domestic abuse

 

 

** Chapter 6 **

 

 

 

                James sat slumped in a chair in the hallway. The chair was next to a door. There were two people inside the room the door led to. A still unconscious Rose Stone, and a weeping Jackie Tyler. He shouldn’t be here. He wasn’t even her doctor, this time. He had been far too compromised by her condition and had been forced to assign the senior resident to see to her care. He was supposed to leave an hour ago, when his shift at A&E ended. But he was not going to leave until he had spoken to Rose’s mother.

 

                Rose had arrived in an ambulance in the early morning. She had been found in the elevator by another resident of the building, returning home from a late night out. Her husband had brutalized her, then he’d tossed her out like trash. Looking down at her on the gurney had been worse than seeing Romana there. This time he had had an idea that this was coming. He hadn’t known for sure, but he’d known it was a possibility. He’d been useless as a physician while she’d been in surgery. He had spent the last hour of his shift searching through any records in her name until he’d found a number for her mother. He’d only told her over the phone that Rose had been admitted for injuries resulting from an assault. He didn’t know if she’d known that Rose was pregnant, but he didn’t want to tell her over the phone that she’d lost the baby. He also didn’t know if she knew about Jimmy’s treatment of her daughter, though Rose’s protectiveness of her mother led him to believe that she did not know. He was going to make sure that she knew who had done this.

 

                He stood quickly when Jackie Tyler came out of the door. She looked stricken. “Hello, Ms. Tyler. I’m Dr. Noble. I’ve treated your daughter in A&E several times previously, and I wondered if I could speak to you.”

 

                “You’re the one who called. What’s happened to my Rose, doctor? Where’s Jimmy? Why isn’t he here?”

 

                He took a deep breath. She didn’t know about the abuse. “This is going to be shocking to you, I’m afraid. Mr. Stone did not accompany her, and I have not called him. He is the one responsible for her condition.” Rose’s mother gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, but he continued. “Six months ago he broke her arm, and two days ago he dislocated her shoulder.” She was sobbing now and he fought to maintain his professional demeanor. “She told me when I saw her for the shoulder that she was pregnant. She’s going to wake up, probably very soon, now, and she’s going to survive this.” He tried to rid his voice of his own anguish, but he failed. “But she’s lost the baby.” He had begun to recognize what he was feeling towards her. That voice in his head, the one he hadn’t heard in years, had begun shouting, “This! This is the thing!” He finally knew what it was to be consumed by thoughts of another person, but she belonged to someone else. And the one she belonged to was systematically destroying what he should have held dear.

 

                “How far along?” Rose’s mother’s voice was choked.

 

                He thought he might be sick, remembered anguish blending with the present in a nauseating whirl of emotion. “Ten weeks.”

 

                “I’ll kill him!” she hissed, eyes flashing.

 

                “Ms. Tyler, I completely understand the sentiment. But I think it’s more important to get her away from him than to worry about retaliation right now.”

 

                “Of course she can’t go back! What kind of mother do you take me for?”

 

                This would be the tricky part. “I know you don’t know me. But it’s my understanding from my conversations with Rose that Mr. Stone owns the house you live in. She has expressed her fears of putting you on the street and she has told me you’ve nowhere else to go. Either of you. I believe that’s what kept her there.” He was desperate to convince her. “I have offered, and I am offering again to hide the two of you. He has no way of knowing who I am. It’s only by random chance that I’ve treated her repeatedly.”

 

                “Why would you do that?” She was still crying, but there was a serious look on her face and he began to hope he might have convinced her.

 

                “I… I care about her.” He looked towards the door to the room before looking back at Jackie Tyler. “Next time he might kill her. Please, help me save her.”

 

 

 

 

 

                Everything hurt. She couldn’t remember ever hurting so much, all over. She fought to call up some memory of what had happened. There was a flash of Jimmy’s face, contorted in rage, and then memory slammed into her. She opened her eyes and looked around frantically. Her mum’s very worried face appeared. “Rose! Oh, thank god, you’re awake. I’ve been so worried.” She was in hospital.

 

                “Mum?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

 

                “Shhh, love, it’s okay. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake, now.”

 

                “Wait.” Jackie turned back and the sorrow in her eyes answered her question before she asked. “The baby?”

 

                Tears began tracking down Jackie’s face and she shook her head slowly. “I’m sorry, love. I’ll be right back, and we’ll talk, yeah?”

 

                Rose closed her eyes as her mother left the room. She felt hollow, and the pain she had felt on regaining consciousness had receded to background noise. Tears began seeping past her closed lids. Jimmy had beaten her, and he’d killed their child. A large part of her wished he’d killed her as well. It was her fault. She’d been naïve and stupid. She’d wanted to protect her mum and she’d wanted to believe he would be happy about the baby. Instead, the baby was dead and her mum knew the truth. They would have to run. Mum would never let her go back, and they certainly couldn’t stay in the house Mum lived in. She was working herself up to a state of panic and self-loathing when her mother returned. Dr. Noble was close behind her and he looked nearly as upset as her mum. Rose tried to shove the panic down as they crossed back to her bedside together.

 

                “I wish you would have told me, Rose. I’m your mother. You don’t have to protect me. It’s me that should be protecting you.”

 

                “I’m sorry. I’m so stupid.” She turned away from them and closed her eyes again.

 

                “No. Rose, please. It’s not your fault.” Dr. Noble was speaking now, but she couldn’t look at him. He’d tried to warn her, but she hadn’t listened and now her baby was dead.

 

                “What are we going to do, Mum? Your house, and oh, god Mum, Howard! If we run… Jimmy knows about Howard. If he comes looking for us, he’ll go to Howard first. Oh, I am so stupid, and now Howard’s in danger, too!”

 

                “Rose Marion Tyler! That’s enough. It is not your fault that man is a lousy excuse for a human being. Now listen, love. I’ve been talking to Dr. Noble.” Rose decided to chance looking at her mum and found her looking at Dr. Noble with respect and… affection? What? “We are going to stay with him. And you are going to file for a divorce the instant I can find the money for a lawyer. Don’t worry about Howard. I’ll call him, and we’ll make sure he’s safe, too. Maybe we can sell some jewelry to pay for the divorce. That’d serve the bastard right, yeah? Use the baubles he bought to divorce his arse.”

 

                “Mum, it’s all at the flat. I think he’d notice if I showed up and cleared out my jewelry box don’t you?”

 

                “Well, I don’t care what it takes, sweetheart! You’re done! Don’t tell me you’re thinking of going back, now.”

 

                Dr. Noble cleared his throat and spoke then. “I agree with your mother. I’ll do whatever it takes to see you free of him. I’ll pay for the divorce myself if that’s what it takes.”

 

                Rose knew her surprised expression matched her mum’s. “Why?”

 

                He held her eyes as he answered. “Because I care about you. Because you might be the strongest person I’ve ever met and no one should go through what you’ve been through. Because money means next to nothing to me and your freedom means a great deal. Please. Let me help you.”

 

                That strong emotion she had seen before was back in his eyes. She had never had such intensity directed at her before him. She spoke before she knew she had decided. “Okay.” She saw relief on his face as well as her mother’s when she tore her gaze from his eyes.

 

                She heard him heave a sigh before he responded. “They wanted to keep you again overnight, but they’ll let you go today, if I take you with me. You’re stable and I can monitor your condition myself, at home. I’ll get that started, and I’ll let you know when you’re ready to be released.” He turned to leave the room, but her mum stopped him with a hand on his arm.

 

                “Thank you, Dr. Noble,” her mum whispered.

 

                The doctor offered her a tight smile. “You don’t have to thank me, Ms. Tyler. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Then he was gone and Rose was alone with Jackie.

 

 

 

 

 

                He was torn between vast relief that she’d agreed to let him help her this time, and overwhelming grief for her loss. He tried to order his thoughts while he went through the process of arranging to have her released to his care. He had already told the resident that she was his friend when he had placed her in the man’s care. While he waited for her discharge to be processed, he called Dr. Smith’s answering service and left a message asking to arrange a few days of emergency leave to attend to a personal issue. Then he called Donna and explained that Rose and her mother had accepted his offer of shelter. She agreed to go by his house and make sure the two extra bedrooms were prepared for his guests. She would also wait there and help him get them settled. Then he took a moment to examine his emotions before returning to the two women.

 

               Jack had asked him the other night how much he cared about her. His answer that he didn’t know was only partial truth. He cared a great deal about her and Jack’s question had forced him to acknowledge it, if only to himself. Then Jackie had spoken of her divorce as if it were a foregone conclusion and his heart had started pounding. ‘I’ll do whatever it takes to see you free of him.’ The words had come without thought and he had been unable to even consider retracting them. She’d asked why and there had been so many answers. But the one that had been on the tip of his tongue had been one he couldn’t give her. Because I think I’m falling in love with you and I can’t let him hurt you again. He could not say that to her. She was married and her husband had treated her as a possession. Had brutalized and traumatized her. She was in no condition to accept his advances. So he had given her as much truth as he thought she could handle.

 

               The relief he felt that he would be taking her home with him was immense. He would no longer have to walk around with that insidious worry for her welfare, wondering when the monster she lived with would end her. She would be, at the very least, a semi-permanent fixture in his life. He would not trap her, as she had been, or force his affections on her. If nothing else, he could be her friend. Maybe that would be all. But maybe, someday, she would be ready for more. The hope that thought spawned, like every other emotion he could associate with her, was unlike anything he had felt before. That was the exact moment he knew the truth of his heart. He knew he would do anything, anything at all, to keep her in his life. He would be anything she needed him to be.

 

 

 

 

 

               He pulled into his driveway and went to pull the wheelchair he had borrowed from the hospital out of the boot. She would only need it for a few days, until he was convinced she wouldn’t begin hemorrhaging again, then he would return it. Probably at the same time he returned to duty. He and Jackie were helping Rose into the wheelchair when Donna emerged from his front door and hurried over to join them. She was already speaking before she reached them. “Oh, thank goodness. I am so glad you decided to come. James has been so worried about you all this time. Oh my god!” She stopped and looked at Rose’s battered face in shock.

 

              “Donna, this is Rose Stone and her mother Jackie Tyler. Rose, Jackie, this is my sister, Donna.”

 

             “No.” He looked down at Rose in surprise. “I’m through being Rose Stone. I’m going back to Tyler as soon as I can. It’s lovely to meet you, Donna. I’m Rose Tyler.”

 

             Then Jackie spoke and he looked up to see pride on her face. “That’s absolutely right, sweetheart. Nice to meet you, Donna. I can’t thank you and Dr. Noble enough for what you’re doing for my Rose.”

 

             “Is that plonker making you call him ‘Dr. Noble’? You arrogant prat! They can’t live in your home and call you that!” Donna had leveled a fierce glare at him.

 

             “I realize that, Donna! We just got here.” He rolled his eyes at his sister before turning to the two women he had committed himself to protecting. He suddenly felt nervous and shy. It was a foreign sensation. “I’m sorry. I meant to introduce myself properly, and I’ve just… Well, as my lovely and opinionated sister pointed out, it would be absurd for you to address me professionally now. I want you to be at home here. I’m James.”

 

              He thought Jackie winked at him before his attention centered on Rose as she held out her hand to him. He took her smaller hand in his. “Thank you, so much, for everything. Thank you, James.” There was still devastation in her eyes, but her hand in his felt brilliant, and a wave of pleasure rolled down his spine when she said his name for the first time.


	8. Chapter 8

** Chapter 7 **

 

 

 

                Donna and Jackie helped him get Rose into the house after he’d given the Tyler women his first name. Now that they were in a place that Jimmy Stone didn’t know about, the exhaustion of the long, stressful morning was weighing down his limbs. Rose looked as if she could also use some more rest. “Rose? Are you tired? Would you like to rest in a proper bed?”

 

                “Yeah, I still feel… Well, really messed up, but I feel like I could sleep for a week. My head’s all fuzzy.”

 

                “Sorry about that. I know you hate painkillers, but they had to give you something… Donna, could you help Jackie get Rose settled in the middle bedroom?” His house had three bedrooms on a single hallway. He wanted Rose in the one closer to his own room in case she needed sudden medical attention.

 

                “Of course. Come on, loves, there’s a comfortable bed in here, and I put fresh sheets on this morning.”

 

                He watched the three women leave his living room and sat wearily on the couch. His energy was flagging, but he needed to focus long enough to ask Jackie to wake him if anything about Rose’s condition changed. Then he would try for a few hours of oblivion. He hoped that having her under his own roof, just down the hall from his room, would prevent the dreams. Seeing her condition while awake was horrifying enough without having to face it in his sleep as well. After a few quiet minutes his sister and Rose’s mother returned to the living room. “I’m going to make tea and sandwiches and you are going to sleep,” Donna announced with a sharp look. “You aren’t going to do her any good if you’re falling over, Spaceman. Even you need to sleep some time.”

 

                Jackie was shaking her head at him disapprovingly, too. He wondered for a moment if it had been a mistake introducing the two of them. “You’ve been up all night, working, then all morning helping us, haven’t you?” Her face softened. “We are grateful for your help, James, but your sister is right. You need to sleep as much as Rose does.” She squinted at him before she continued. “You really care about my daughter, don’t you?”

 

                He swallowed. Jackie had been on his side so far and he did not want to lose her trust. He was acutely aware of his sister’s attention to his answer. But he would not lie to Rose’s mother. “I do. More than I can say. I have thought about her every day since the first time I saw her.” Jackie looked startled by his response, and he knew from Donna’s sharp inhalation that she understood what he wasn’t saying. He met his sister’s eyes briefly before turning back to Jackie. “I do need a few hours of sleep, but will you check on Rose about once an hour and make sure she doesn’t need anything, and that she hasn’t started bleeding again? Wake me if there’s anything, and I mean anything.” She nodded at him silently and he stood and shuffled to his bedroom. He thought briefly about showering, but sleep was too tempting. He stripped to his shorts and then pulled on a clean t-shirt, in case Jackie had to wake him. Then he climbed into bed and was asleep as soon as he settled in place.

 

 

 

 

                Jack was frantically throwing clothes on in his rush to get down to the club. He wasn’t technically supposed to be there at this time of day, but River had called him at noon, said that things were starting to fall apart. Stone had done something and Saxon was getting ready to distance himself. If they wanted to grab him before he slipped away and five years of work went down the drain, it had to be today. He strapped on his assortment of weapons and made his way to the club, mulling over the information he had about the situation. Something about it was nagging at him.

 

                There had been a meeting this morning between Saxon and Stone, in the office at the club. Stone had been in a state, hadn’t slept hardly, and he and Saxon had fought. It seemed Stone had caught his wife listening to a phone conversation a few days ago about the troubles River had been surreptitiously causing the operation working out of the club. Stone had punished his wife. The way River had said ‘punished’ made Jack’s skin crawl. Then last night she’d told him she was pregnant and he’d beaten her, badly. He thought she was trying to manipulate him. He’d dumped her in an elevator. When he’d come to his senses a few hours later and realized that leaving his possibly beaten to death spouse in an elevator in his own building might have been a mistake, she’d been gone. River said Saxon had flown into a rage on learning that Stone hadn’t been able to locate her. River, Saxon and Jimmy Stone all thought that Mrs. Stone might have heard something important. The poor woman probably wasn’t even aware of it.

 

                Jack stopped mid-stride as a few things came together in his mind. A married, pregnant victim of domestic abuse. It’s extreme. Very attractive. Snatches of his conversation with James echoed in his ears. What if it was the same girl? He really wished he had asked James for his girl’s name. If she was the same girl, if she wound up in A&E again, if she’d survived the beating Stone had given her… James had already offered to hide her once. He had no doubt his friend would make the offer again. He increased his pace as he resumed walking. He and River needed to secure Stone and Saxon and then, Jack needed to speak to James. If he was lucky his good friend had taken possession of their missing asset. If he was very lucky, Rose Stone held the key to nailing the Master.

 

 

 

 

                James woke sluggishly to the ringing of his phone on the bedside table. He felt a momentary disorientation in his own bed as the memories of the morning’s ordeal returned to his awareness. His phone continued to ring as he got his emotions under control. When he did, he looked down at the number, expecting to see the hospital, or possibly the message service. Instead, it was Jack Harkness calling. He groaned before he answered. “What do you want, Jack? I had a long night, and a really shitty morning, so unless this is important-“

 

                “James. It is. It is very, very important. I am going to ask you a question, and no matter how much you may want to hide the truth, I need to have it. I swear you can trust me.”

 

                “Fine. What is it?”

 

                “It’s about your girl… The one you told me about… Is her name Rose Stone?”

 

                James was suddenly very alert. He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep, certainly not long enough, but he felt completely awake. He hadn’t told Jack her name. “How do you know her name, Harkness?” He was only moderately surprised to hear the steel in his voice.

 

                “Look, James. My case went to hell this morning, and she’s at the heart of it. I don’t know how to tell you this, but her husband tried to beat her to death, or maybe he did beat her to death, then lost her. My partner has her husband, and the man we think is at the top of the food chain at a secure location, but we think she might have overheard something. Something that has these two scared of her, and I need to find her. I know you want to help her, too. Help me out.”

 

                This was what he’d been afraid of when Jack had said her name. Whoever Jack was after was dangerous. More dangerous than just a man who has to beat his wife to feel good about himself. And no matter how important Jack thought his case was, Rose had been through enough and he didn’t want her anywhere near Jack’s ‘case’. “She’s alive, Jack. But she has been through an unbelievable ordeal, both emotionally and physically. She is in no condition to be answering your questions, and I won’t subject her to them until she has had some time to recover. When she is ready, if she is willing to talk to you, then you can ask her your questions. Until then, you can fuck off with your case, because I won’t put her through it. I mean it, Jack. Do not show up here thinking you can interrogate her. I will use everything I have to protect her, even from you if I have to.”

 

                “Whoa, whoa! I don’t want to hurt her, James. I just want to talk to her. I don’t even know what it is they think she knows. And certainly I can wait. You… Are you in love with her? You are, aren’t you?”

 

                He sighed. There was probably no sense in denying it to Jack. He knew the man wouldn’t let up until he’d admitted something, and he didn’t think he could come up with a believable alternate explanation that he could sell. “Yeah, Jack, I… I think I am. But that doesn’t really matter, does it? For one, as you are aware, she is married. To someone that is not me.”

 

                “James, it’s not like that marriage is anything-“

 

                “I’m not finished. Second, and more importantly, her husband has abused her, and controlled her, and treated her like a thing, a possession. He’s forced a violent miscarriage on her. She is in no condition for any relationship other than friendship at the moment. So I am going to be the best friend that I can be to her Jack, and I won’t let her be hurt again.”

 

                “She lost the baby? Oh, god, James, I’m so sorry. She must be-“

 

                “Yeah, Jack. She is. Devastated. I am, too. And she blames herself. You’re going to have to give her some time, and she may not ever want to talk about it.” Jack’s response was drowned out by the sudden sound of screaming. “Shit! I gotta go Jack!” He hung up without waiting to hear what Jack was saying to him and tore out of his room into the next bedroom, where the shrieks were coming from. Jackie was a step in front of him when he entered the room that now belonged to Rose. She was tangled in the bedding and clearly dreaming. It took all of his willpower to stop inside the doorway and let Jackie go to her. It wasn’t his place to soothe her nightmares, and his comfort would not necessarily be welcome. He doubted it would be comforting for her to wake to a man she barely knew. He should leave the mother and daughter to it. Jackie would come and get him if she had opened her stitches, or begun bleeding again. But he was awake now, and he couldn’t walk away from her in this state. Instead of leaving them alone, he watched Jackie wake the woman who had become the center of his life.

 

                “Rose? Sweetheart, wake up. It’s just a dream, wake up.” Jackie reached out and shook Rose gently, and she sat up with a gasp, eyes wide.

 

                “Mum?” Her eyes filled and her body began shuddering with sobs.

 

                Jackie sat on the bed and gathered Rose into her arms, and James moved to return to his own room. He wasn’t needed here. It was a painful thought, when all he wanted was to be there for her, but it was the truth. He was sitting on the side of his bed, debating between going back to sleep and fixing an evening meal, when Jackie stuck her head in the doorway. “James? Would you mind, Rose said she wanted to talk to you. I know you’re probably still exhausted, but…”

 

                He stood up quickly. “No, no. It’s no problem.” It wasn’t. He wanted to talk to her. He was beginning to think that he wanted to do anything she wanted him to do. He looked at Jackie in confusion when she moved towards the living room instead of leading him to Rose’s bedroom. “Isn’t she still in bed?”

 

                “Yes, dear, she is. But she asked me to give you a few minutes, and I trust you. Go on.”

 

                She wanted to talk to him alone? “Okay.” He felt that shy, nervous feeling again as he approached her room and he realized that they had never actually been alone together. There were lots of other people around at the hospital, and then there had been her mother, and Donna. He took a deep breath and entered the room to find her sitting up in the bed watching him. Once again her face had been wiped clean of any sign of the emotional upheaval of just a few minutes prior. “Hi, um, your mum said you wanted to talk to me?” He remembered then that he was only wearing shorts and a t-shirt and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

 

                “Hi, yeah. You don’t have to stay in the doorway, ya know.” She gave him a small smile. It didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it was the closest thing to a real smile he had seen on her face. His nerves began to dissipate at the sight of that smile and he walked over and stood next to the bed.

 

                “How are you feeling? Do you want something for the pain?” He closed his mouth before he could ask her another stupid question. Of course she felt terrible, and she never wanted anything for the pain.

 

                She looked up at him, and she was still smiling. He wanted to know what she would look like with a genuine smile on her face. “No. Thank you, but I don’t want to muddy my head again when I’m just starting to see straight.” She shifted on the bed and patted a spot near her knees. “There don’t seem to be any chairs in here aside from the wheelchair, so…” Oh. He sat gingerly near the spot she had indicated.

 

                She was looking at him searchingly, so he spoke softly. “What can I help with?”

 

                She looked down at her lap before she answered. “I wanted to thank you, really thank you for helping us. We’ll find a way to pay you back when it’s all over. And I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t listen to you when you tried to warn me.”

 

                No. Absolutely not. “Rose. You don’t have to thank me and you don’t owe me anything. Everything I’ve done has been my choice and I won’t have you thinking otherwise. And you have nothing, nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry I didn’t find a way to help you sooner.” She reached over and grabbed his hand and he couldn’t stop his breath from hitching at the sudden contact.

 

                Her eyes were shining when she looked back at him. “Thank you, James.” He wanted to hear her say his name as often as possible. She dropped her eyes from his again. He watched her swallow. “I, um, I have one other question, and I didn’t want mum to be here when I asked.” She was still trying to protect her mother, even after everything that had happened to her. “Can I… Will I be able to have children?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are more complicated than they appear...

Warnings: remembered mention of rape

 

 

 

 

** Chapter 8 **

 

 

 

 

                “Can I… Will I be able to have children?”

 

                He didn’t know what he’d expected her to say, but it wasn’t that. No wonder she didn’t want Jackie to be here when she asked. His heart ached as he realized she thought Jimmy had taken that from her also. “Yes. It will take time for your body to heal. It will probably take longer for you to heal emotionally than physically. I…” He hesitated. There was something he could offer, and for the first time ever he found himself wanting to share it. “I know what it is to lose a child.”

 

                She looked shocked and he couldn’t blame her. He was surprised himself at how easy it had been to say those words. “You do?” Her expression shifted and he saw the mask over her grief crack just a bit. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

 

                She still held his hand and he squeezed it gently. “You couldn’t have.” He wanted her to know him, and telling her felt natural. “It was, oh, four and a half years ago, now. My wife was killed in a hit and run accident. They never found the person responsible. I didn’t even know she was pregnant until they were both dead.” She looked horrified, and that wasn’t what he wanted so he rushed ahead. “It’s okay. I’ve had years to accept it. Romana and I, our marriage wasn’t perfect, though it probably looked that way from the outside. I used to feel a lot of guilt about that. Still do, sometimes. But, it gets better. That’s what matters.” He forced himself to set his own strong feelings on the subject aside as he continued. “Someday, you’ll meet someone who’ll treat you with the respect you deserve, and yes, you will be able to start a family with them, if that’s what you want.”

 

                Then something brilliant and unexpected happened. It wasn’t quite as brilliant as it could have been, because she didn’t need to be moving around so much, but still. Rose lunged forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. He had to steady himself with his feet and his arms were around her before he’d thought to move them. Fortunately he did have the presence of mind to keep his embrace loose. He didn’t want to cause her pain and put a premature end to this precious gift. “Thank you, James,” she whispered fiercely against his neck, and he was powerless to stop the shiver that passed through his body at the feel of her breath against his skin. He wanted to give up everything, the ridiculous inheritance he’d never wanted, his job, his education, his house, everything, if he could just hold her in his arms, like this, for the rest of his life.

 

                But he would not make her feel obligated for accepting his help. He whispered, “It’s nothing. You’re very welcome.” He hoped she knew he sincerely meant it. The he slowly pulled back and said, “Hey, you need to be a little more careful, okay? I don’t want to take you back to hospital, but I’ll have to if you make yourself worse, alright?”

 

                Through the bruising on her face she looked embarrassed. “Sorry. And sorry for… grabbing you, and all.”

 

                No, no, no. He did not want her to think that she couldn’t hug him. Nope. That was, in fact, the opposite of what he wanted. He would just have to be careful of his explanation. “No. Don’t be. I just want you to be careful, so you can heal properly. You can hug me anytime.” He cringed internally that that last sentence had slipped out. “I think you’ve had a distinct lack of physical affection in your life recently, and it’s okay to seek comfort from a friend.”

 

                She looked at him seriously. “I’m very lucky to have you as a friend, I think.” He saw her face cloud with some internal conflict for a moment, then she continued. “Can I hug you again?” She was looking into his eyes, and, oh, there was that hope again. It might be a very long time before she was ready for anything but friendship, but he would wait for her however long it took. He opened his arms, and this time she wrapped her arms around his back and buried her face in his chest. He fought his own internal battle to keep his arms from tightening around her. She was wearing thin pajamas her mother had brought to the hospital, and he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and they were sitting on her bed, but there was nothing sexual at all about the situation or how it made him feel. Even so, it felt like the most intimate moment of his life.

 

                They sat that way for a few minutes, and when she began to pull back he let her. “What time is it?” she asked.

 

                “Some time after four, I think. Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten all day.”

 

                “Not really, but I know I should eat. Mum’s probably waiting to feed me.” She seemed to notice his clothes for the first time. “Oh, I woke you, didn’t I? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so loud. You can send Mum in and go back to sleep.”

 

                He wouldn’t let her think her nightmares were an inconvenience, and anyway it wasn’t true. “Nope. Not at all. I was already awake. A friend called and woke me before your nightmare. Let me help you into the chair and I’ll get dressed after I leave you with your mum. Then we’ll see what we can do about something to eat.” She smiled again and it was a step closer to real.

 

                Once she was situated he wheeled her back to the living room. They were both hit by the smell of bacon frying, and James’ stomach growled loudly. Rose looked at him over her shoulder and giggled. The sound of her laughing brought another strong wave of emotion, and he couldn’t help but grin at her. “Sorry. I haven’t eaten today either.”

 

                Jackie emerged from the doorway to the kitchen. “Oh, good, I was just coming to find the two of you. You didn’t have a whole lot in, so I figured we could have breakfast for dinner tonight. I’ve got bacon and eggs and toast ready.”

 

                “Thank you, Jackie. I don’t usually spend a lot of time at home. I’ll get some groceries tomorrow.” He positioned Rose’s wheelchair at the table, then excused himself long enough to pull on a pair of jeans. He returned to the kitchen and sat at the place Jackie indicated for him. “You two will want to get clothes and toiletries and things to keep here, I imagine. I’m sure Donna would love to take you shopping tomorrow, Jackie. Though, you’ll probably need to shop for Rose as well.” He looked at Rose and hoped she didn’t think he was trying to control her. “Unless you really want to go, I’d like you to spend a few more days recovering before you start really moving around.” She looked embarrassed again. “And I don’t want him to come looking for you before I can make you safe.” It was Jackie who answered.

 

                “It’s a lovely offer, dear, but my bank card is tied to the bastard’s account, and I’m not sure the thing will be any good. I’ll start looking for a job and Rose and I will make do until then.”

 

                Oh. Right. He really hadn’t had time to explain himself, and Jackie couldn’t know. “I… I don’t want you to think I’m trying to control what you do, because I’m not. It’s your decision. But, a friend called me earlier, and,” he glanced at Rose before returning his attention to Jackie. “My friend has reason to believe Mr. Stone is involved in illegal activities, and that as a result Rose is in danger. Still. If you really want to get a job, that’s fine, I won’t stop you. I understand if you both need to feel self-sufficient right now. But you don’t have to. Not right away. I, well, Donna and I, when our parents died we inherited more than enough to make helping you a simple matter…” He trailed off as the doorbell rang, and Jackie’s expression went from worry to alarm.

 

                “Wait here.” He stood slowly, looking back and forth between the two women. Rose looked terrified. “Hey. It’s okay. It’s probably just Donna, maybe she brought Lee to meet you. No one knows you’re here. It’s okay.”

 

                Rose finally nodded and he went to answer the door. The bell rang again before he got there. He looked through the window next to the door and felt both relief and anger. It wasn’t Jimmy, somehow escaped from wherever Jack had him, or some random goon. No, it was Jack bloody Harkness himself. James growled and snatched the door open. “I told you not to come here, Harkness. I don’t care what you think she knows, you aren’t going to interrogate her!” He was aware of the frightened women in the other room, so he just managed to avoid shouting at Jack.

 

                Jack held his hands up. “James. I don’t want to interrogate her. I have what I need to hold those two for a while, I just don’t have what I need to pin the other guy as the boss. There’s no rush. I just want to see her. I met her last night, before, and I watched him drag her out of the club, and I… Man, I wish I had stopped them. I just want her to know I’m on her side. That’s all.”

 

                James sighed and stood aside to let the other man into the house. “If you’ve led dangerous people here to find her I’ll never forgive you, Jack.” Then he led the way back to the kitchen, where Rose and Jackie were waiting anxiously. Jackie had moved out of her chair and now stood next to Rose. Jackie still looked worried, but Rose had that emotionless mask back in place, though there was a spark of recognition in her eyes as Jack entered the room behind him. “Rose, Jackie, this is my friend, Jack Harkness. Jack, this is Rose and Jackie Tyler.”

 

                “It was you.” Rose’s words took him by surprise. “You’re the one who told him that Jimmy’s a criminal.”

 

                Even Jack looked startled. “How do you know that?”

 

                “Because you’re the first new hire in a year that wasn’t someone Jimmy already knew. You’re River’s friend, and she… She’s different from the others. She’s the only one who doesn’t look right through me when I look like this. She ignores me most of the time, but she’s never been deliberately cruel.”

 

                Jack still looked surprised, but he grinned at her. He looked very pleased at her perceptiveness. “Oh, yeah. She’s different all right. You have no idea how different. And believe it or not, she hasn’t been ignoring you.” Jack’s smile got even wider. “She’s actually babysitting your bastard of a husband right now. She’s been trying to calculate how many of the beatings she’s watched you take she can inflict on him before she earns a reprimand. I wouldn’t be surprised if she crosses the line anyway.” Jack’s smile shifted to a smirk. “Believe me, she’s been keeping score.”

 

                James felt the same shock that he saw on Rose’s face, but the best part was Jackie’s reaction. She let out a loud cackle, followed by a proper belly laugh. Then she turned to Jack and said, “Oh, I like you!”

 

                “You’ve, what? You’ve captured Jimmy?” Rose sounded bewildered.

 

                “So, does that mean we could go home?”

 

                A mixture of fear and sadness filled him at Jackie’s words. Sadness that they might leave, and fear that it still wasn’t safe. Then Jack spoke. “No, Ms. Tyler, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Most of Mr. Stone’s assets will probably be seized as a result of our case. If you want to make a trip to pick up personal belongings, clothes and things, I’ll be happy to escort you. We only have Stone and Saxon in custody and there could be other members of the organization looking for the two of you, so you may not be safe. We’re calling in backup to assist with your security.”

 

                James’ brain had become stuck on a single word out of everything Jack had just said. He spoke before he thought. “Stone and who?!”

 

                Now Jack turned a startled expression on him. “Harold Saxon, Stone’s partner at the club. We think he’s a cartel overlord known as the Master. Why, do you know him?”

 

                He hadn’t heard that name, or thought of Harry in years. For one terrible minute he was thrown back to the summer he was fourteen. Up until that summer it had always been the four of them. But Donna had been spending time with older friends of hers, and Romana had been acting funny. Harry seemed to be avoiding him. He’d been taking a walk when he’d heard strange sounds coming from behind a hill on the side of the road. He’d found Harry on top of Romana and at first he’d thought he was interrupting a private moment between his two friends. He had been turning away in embarrassment, hoping they hadn’t seen him, when he heard Romana’s strangled whimper. In horror he had realized that Harry was assaulting her. He had rushed over and shoved him off of her. Romana had been sobbing, and Harry had turned on him, eyes blazing. James had never seen anyone so angry in his life and for a moment he was afraid of the boy who had been his best friend his whole life. “You bastard! It’s your fucking fault she doesn’t want me!” Then Harry had abruptly turned and ran away. James had been shocked and confused, but he’d turned his attention to getting Romana to help. By the time she’d been willing to report the assault and press charges, Harry had run away from home. Neither he, nor Donna, nor Romana had seen or heard from Harry Saxon since then. He hadn’t understood Harry’s words until years later. James had done his best to forget that incident, but he knew that it had been a defining moment in Romana’s life. Before then, she’d wanted to go into politics. After she recovered, she’d been determined to help women who had been hurt by the men in their lives.

 

                He forced his attention back to the present and felt his expression harden as he realized Harry had had a part in ruining Rose’s life as well. “Yeah, I know him. I grew up with him. We were best friends growing up. When we were fourteen he showed us what kind of person he really was and I haven’t heard from or seen him since. But I know that he is very bad news and very dangerous.”

 

                They were all looking at him when Rose broke the silence. “Jimmy called him the master sometimes. And there were a few other people, ones I only saw a few times. They called him that, too. He has the coldest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

 

                “Ha! That’s it! That’s what they’re afraid of! You know the club is shady, you know Saxon runs the show, you know he’s the Master! Ha! Rose Stone I could kiss you!”

 

                You’d better bloody not, James thought. “Rose Tyler,” he corrected his friend while glaring.

 

                Jack shot him a knowing look before he continued. “Fine. Rose Tyler, you are the most important witness in the highest priority case on the Torchwood files.”

 

                “Torchwood?” Jack’s phone rang just as Rose’s question left her lips.

 

                “I’ll explain everything, but first, that’s my partner.” He punched at his phone. “Harkness, here. Shit! What?! Oh, fuck, River, hang on, I’ll be right there. I’ll bring a doctor.” Then he hung up and looked straight at James. “Saxon’s escaped.” He shook his head. “River let herself get distracted punishing Stone. Saxon killed him and shot River in the leg, then he ran. She needs a doctor and Rose isn’t safe if he’s free. You’re going to have to come with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun imagining Jackie's reaction to meeting Jack here...


	10. Chapter 10

Warnings: mention of rape

 

 

 

** Chapter 9 **

 

 

 

                “You’re going to have to come with me.”

 

James felt torn with indecision. He knew the extended stress and lack of sleep and food were affecting his ability to think. There was a woman out there who needed his help. A woman who had tried to help Rose. A woman Harry Saxon had hurt. However, Rose wasn’t exactly well enough to be going on the run. But she was in worse danger if what Jack said about Harry was true. That was it. He would not let Harry hurt Rose. That meant going with Jack. “Okay. But we need to eat, so either we take the food with us or you get us something to eat when we get there. I’ll need equipment to deal with a gunshot wound, and I need Rose to be safe, so you’d better get that back-up here, soon.” He saw Rose’s look before he registered what he had said. ‘I need Rose to be safe.’ He didn’t care. His gob was bound to give him away sooner or later but it was the truth, and there was something in the look that made that hope shoot through his veins again. He ruthlessly squashed the thought. She was injured and she was still in danger, and he needed to be a physician right now, not a love-struck fool.

 

“River already called in the back-up. There’s a manhunt on for Saxon as we speak. We have food and medical equipment at the safe house. I brought a van, we’ll take that. Let’s go, I’d rather not be the agent that lost the legendary River Song, if it’s all the same to you.”

 

 

 

 

 

At Jack’s safe house they found a very angry woman with curly hair and a bandage wrapped around her thigh. The bandage was soaked through with blood. Fortunately, the body of Jimmy Stone was not readily visible. He didn’t want Rose to see the body of her husband even if the man had deserved it. She and Jackie had remained silent since Jack had pronounced Stone dead back at the house. The angry woman seemed to disregard her injury in favor of yelling at Jack when they entered the house. “Are you kidding me Harkness? You say you’re bringing me a doctor and you bring James bloody Noble? Did you read any part of the file when they put you on this case? There’s a team heading to his house to hide him as we speak!”

 

All four of them stopped at the injured woman’s angry outburst. The only response James could muster to her bewildering statement was, “What?”

 

Jack did a little better. “What do you mean? I told you a friend of mine might have offered Mrs. Stone shelter and I was right. I went to see them and that’s where I was when you called. James is a doctor.”

 

“I know he’s a doctor, Jack.” She closed her eyes and sighed before she opened them and continued. “We’ll have to get a security detail here. You really should read your bloody case files, Harkness.” She grimaced, and James didn’t know if it was from pain or frustration. He also had no idea why he would be in their case file. The injured woman, River, looked right at him then. “Saxon is obsessed with this man. We don’t know why. But we know he’s been responsible for a number of events in his life that were labelled as accidents. They were not.”

 

James’ confusion grew, and now there was anxiety and a deep sense of foreboding. He was afraid he didn’t want to know, but he had to ask. “What do you mean? He… He raped my wife when we were teenagers and I haven’t seen him since. He’s never faced justice for that but it certainly wasn’t an accident. Nor was it ever labelled as such.”

 

He heard twin gasps from Rose and Jackie as well as Jack’s muttered “Christ, James!” but his attention was focused on River Song as he waited for her answer. She looked at him sadly. “There was a fire. Eight and a half years ago. That was labelled a wiring malfunction. There was a hit and run accident. Four and a half years ago. No one was ever able to identify the driver. Saxon was responsible for both incidents. I’m sorry, James.”

 

It was curious that one could find the sensation of blank white noise familiar. But he couldn’t afford to fall into the same state of shock that he had four and a half years ago. The woman who had just delivered the unbelievable, earth-shattering news still needed his help, and more importantly, Rose was still in danger. He took a deep breath and gathered every ounce of his focus. He looked at Jack and saw that his friend understood the meaning of what she had said. He was pushing through the numbness when a terrible though occurred to him. Harry had burned down his parents’ house, with them inside. He had had Romana and their unborn child run down. All out of some twisted sense of revenge because Romana had loved James instead of Harry. James hadn’t even known that she loved him until after his parents were dead. What was to stop Harry from going after Donna to cause James pain? “Jack. What about Donna? If he just wants to hurt me, she’s not safe.”

 

River spoke up again. ”There’s a security team on their way to her as well. Jack, you need to call the team they sent to his place, so they don’t panic.”

 

“Right. Thank you.” He looked back at Rose and Jackie finally. They still looked scared, but there was something else. He knew that they didn’t understand what River had said. Well, Rose might understand the part about the hit and run, but they were both looking at him with compassion. Once again Rose’s eyes held that thing that made that spark of hope jump in his chest. “Jack, please help Rose and Jackie, while I examine Miss Song’s leg. Then I’ll let you know what I need.” For now he was going to be a doctor. Then he would do everything in his power to protect the women in his life from the monster who had once been his friend.

 

 

 

 

 

                Rose sat in a state of shock on the twin bed that was the only thing, aside from the wheelchair she had arrived in, in the small bedroom she had been given at the safe house. Her mum had gone to sleep in the identical room next to hers an hour ago. There were two others rooms across the hallway, just the same. Rose knew that she needed to get as much sleep as she could while she could, but she couldn’t shut down. The last twenty-four hours – had it really been only twenty-four hours? – had been far too much for her to process. Now her brain was moving in circles trying to decide what to focus on. She wasn’t completely numb, but her emotions didn’t match what she thought she should be feeling.

 

                It wasn’t quite midnight, so less than twenty-four hours ago Jimmy had beaten her and killed the child that she had been carrying. It was confusing to suddenly no longer be pregnant, even though she’d only know for a few weeks. There was sorrow for her child, and guilt that she had allowed Jimmy to do as he had done. She could have told him at the club and things might have been different. But there was also relief, and if she allowed herself to dwell on that there was crippling guilt that she could feel any relief from the death of her baby. She couldn’t, couldn’t think about that. Not yet.

 

                But that wasn’t the only life-changing, confusing, unbelievable thing. James’ friend, the new bartender who wasn’t a bartender, had said Jimmy was dead. Mr. Saxon had killed him before shooting River and escaping. As far as Rose knew, his body might be somewhere in this very building. She had had time, after the abuse began, to examine the decisions that had led to her marriage and she knew they hadn’t been good ones. Looking back, Jimmy had always been contemptuous, and condescending, but she had been blinded by the attention, and the gifts, and the money. The thought of getting her mum off the estate. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever really loved him, but she was sure he’d never loved her. To think that she was suddenly widowed… There was no denying the relief of knowing she was truly free of Jimmy. Some part of her felt that she should be sad that her husband was dead. She should be grieving him. But she couldn’t, so there was guilt over that as well.

 

                Mr. Saxon had always made her uncomfortable, and the thought that he might be actively hunting her, well, that terrified her. She had already been afraid of him before she found out he was some kind of evil criminal mastermind. Who had killed her husband. Who thought Rose herself was a threat to him. Who apparently had some life-long grudge against James. He’d raped James’ wife? When they were just teenagers? The hit and run River had mentioned must have been her accident, so that meant he had killed her as well. She didn’t know the significance of the fire River had spoken of, but she knew it meant Mr. Saxon had been torturing James from afar for a long time. It was a different type of abuse than what Jimmy had put her through, but her heart ached for the kind doctor’s losses.

 

                That brought her mental circle to the thing that was perhaps most confusing of all. James Noble. She was so confused by him. He had been unfailingly kind and supportive, from the first time she had met him. Asking about her black eye. Offering pain medication, even after she’d refused, but never ignoring her choice. Asking her repeatedly not to go back to Jimmy. Offering to hide her. Sharing the story of his wife’s accident and the loss of his own child. She couldn’t understand why he card so much, but she was so, so glad he did. She would have thought it was her pregnancy that had moved him, except that he had offered to hide her before she had told him she was pregnant. And there was that emotion in his eyes when he looked at her. No one had ever looked at her like that. Definitely not Jimmy, or any other boyfriend she had ever had. She desperately wanted to know what that look meant, but she was afraid she could never be anything but a burden to him.

 

                She looked up when the door opened and James’ head appeared. “Oh. Sorry. Thought this was an empty bedroom. I’ll just-“His head started to disappear again.

 

                “Wait.” He stopped his retreat and leaned back into the room. “I just, I couldn’t sleep. Can’t shut my brain off, and anyway I’m pretty sure I’ll have nightmares again. I thought I’d let Mum get a few hours before I go ruining her sleep with my dreams. Would you, um, would you just sit with me for a bit?” She looked around the plain room before returning her eyes to his. “This place is… I don’t really want to be alone if I don’t have to… But I understand if you want to get some sleep… Sorry, I shouldn’t-“

 

                “Of course.” He entered the room fully and closed the door behind himself. There was a small amount of blood on his shirt, but his arms and hands were clean. That look was in his eyes again, and for a moment she wondered… No, that was an impossible thought. He wanted to be her friend that was all. She was lucky he wanted to be that. Anything else was an illusion, concocted by her emotionally starved and stunted brain. He was a doctor, and she was nobody, widow of a criminal, mother of a dead child she couldn’t protect, a liability. She was broken, and she couldn’t ask him to fix her.

 

                He crossed the small room and sat next to her on the bed. He left a small gap of space between them, but his weight dipped the mattress, and gravity pushed her until she was leaning against his side. She looked up at his face and that look was still there. She could not look away from his eyes as she whispered, “I’m so, so sorry about what Mr. Saxon did to your wife.” The grief of everything that had happened, everything that she had learned began to overwhelm her, and her shoulders began shaking with the sobs before the first tears fell.

 

                His arms wrapped around her and she sobbed harder when he whispered into her hair, “Shhh. It’s okay. Well, no it’s not, but it will be.” Then he just held her and let her cry. She cried for the child she had lost, and her failed marriage. She cried for the guilt of dragging her mother into her nightmare. But she also cried for the loss of James’ wife and child, and for the unknown horrors that Mr. Saxon had inflicted on him. All of it hurt, so badly, but for the first time in a long time she felt safe in the moment. She felt safe in this man’s arms while she cried for all the pain and guilt and loss. Finally, finally her tears were spent and still he held her. He must be exhausted, and still he stayed to offer her what comfort he could give. It was such a foreign experience. Jimmy had never been one for comfort, even in the early days. Then later it had been all pain. She had never had any man offer her so much and ask for nothing in return.

 

                He was still holding her, and while she had cried, she had wrapped her arms around him as well. Eventually she looked up at him. She intended to thank him, and let him find an empty room for the night. They both really did need more sleep, and they expected to have to move in the morning, once a security plan had been made. But she found him looking down at her with such tenderness on his face, and their faces were so close when she looked up at him. Her words died in her throat. With the tiniest of movements, she pressed her lips to his. She let her eyes flutter closed at the soft touch, and for a moment, she felt a gentle return pressure.

 

                Then he sat back from her with a slight gasp. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… You’ve just been through… And I’ve…” He looked horrified, and she felt the sting of rejection at his reaction. He pulled back and stood. He crossed to the door before he looked at her again. Now there was pain and sorrow in his eyes, and she hated herself for putting it there. “I’m so sorry, Rose. Please believe I would never take advantage of you. Get some sleep, yeah?” Then he was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

Warnings: domestic abuse

 

 

 

** Chapter 10 **

 

 

 

                Rose stared at the door after James disappeared. She wanted to weep again, but there didn’t seem to be any tears left. _How could I be so stupid? He doesn’t want to kiss me._ He was probably still mourning his wife, and learning who was responsible for her death had probably torn the wound open. _He’s been nothing but a good friend to me and I go and ruin it. He probably won’t even be able to look at me now._ She curled up in the small bed and tried to shove the heartache aside. She had taken advantage of his friendship and she had crossed a line. She hadn’t even meant to do it. The look in his eyes had been so inviting, and she had acted without any thought for consequences. Now she may have thrown away the best friendship anyone had ever offered her. She couldn’t bear to think, or feel anymore, so she closed her eyes, and wished for a dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

(Warning applies to the next two paragraphs.)

*

*

*

*

 

                She was crouched in the living room of the flat, and Jimmy stood over her with a sneer. It was a position she had been in many times. He hadn’t hit her yet, but she knew the insults were a precursor to a rough night. She couldn’t make sense of the words he was spewing at her this time. “You stupid whore, you belong to me! You think you can just kiss anyone you want? What would a doctor want with you? You’re just a charity case. You’re a useless chav. Can’t save yourself, can’t save your baby, kissing men who don’t even want you, when you fucking belong to me!” He was bent over her raging now, and she didn’t know what he was talking about, but she knew he was going to hit her and it was going to be bad. “I will kill you if you do it again! Do you hear me you stupid bitch?! I will fucking kill you!”

 

                She didn’t know what she had done or why he was so mad, but she believed him. He was going to kill her and it might be right now. “I’m sorry, Jimmy. Please. I won’t do it again.” Whatever it was, she wouldn’t. “Please, don’t. I’m sorry.” But it didn’t matter, it never mattered. Then he started to hit her and she started to scream.

*

*

*

*

(End warning.)

 

 

 

                “Rose, it’s just a dream. Rose, sweetheart, wake up. Love, it’s okay, you’re safe, wake up.”

 

                Rose blinked her eyes open to find her mother’s worried face peering at her. It only took a second for the memories of the present to surface and the meaning of dream-Jimmy’s threats and taunts to become clear. She clutched at her mum and burst into tears as a rapid succession of memories flashed through her head. Being pregnant. Losing the baby. Learning Jimmy was dead. Crying in James’ arms. Kissing James. “Oh, Mum, I’m so stupid! I ruin everything I touch! No wonder he ran, I’m so useless! What are we going to do? He probably hates me now…” She trailed off into sobs.

 

                “Now, that’s enough of that. You are not stupid or useless. Oh, sweetheart. You are strong and resilient, and that bastard can’t hurt you anymore. He can’t hate you if he’s dead, can he? And who’d care if he did? I don’t know what you mean about running, but he’s gone and that’s a good thing.”

 

                “No, that’s not…” She’d have to tell her mum about the kiss. He wouldn’t want them to stay anymore, and her mum would want to know why. “I wasn’t talking about Jimmy.” She would have to find the control she had built while she’d lived with Jimmy to get through the explanation. She still might not make it.

 

                “But, it looked like that’s what you were dreaming about…”

 

                “I was. I was dreaming about Jimmy. But I wasn’t talking about him. Last night I… Oh, Mum, I kissed him! Now he’s gonna hate me and we won’t have anywhere to go, and why, why do I have to be so needy and stupid? Why couldn’t I just let him be my friend?” It was no use, she was crying again. He had been everything she had never known she wanted and she’d probably lost even his friendship. “Like things aren’t complicated enough already, with a psycho hunting us, I have to go and make things worse!”

 

                “Rose, sweetheart, what are you talking about? You kissed who? James? Love, I’m sure that he doesn’t hate you. I’ve been watching that man and I don’t think he could hate you if he tried. It can’t be as bad as you think. He’s tied up in this as much as we are, and I’m sure he’s just worried. I don’t think he would turn us away, he saved you when I didn’t even know you needed saving, love.”

 

                “No, Mum. You should have seen his face. He was… Oh, god, he was horrified. He could hardly look at me. He just found out his wife was murdered, that she didn’t die in an accident like he’d thought, and that he knew the murderer. Then I go and assault him! Jimmy was right, what would he want with me?”

 

                “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

                “In my dream. Jimmy was saying what would a doctor want with me, I’m just a charity case.”

 

 

 

 

 

                James woke with a start when he heard Rose begin screaming in her room across the hall. It took everything he had not to rush over and wake her from her nightmare. He groaned and flopped back down on the hard twin bed. Her mother was in the room next to her, and she surely wouldn’t want to see him now. Or maybe ever after he had nearly lost control earlier. Oh, she had kissed him, but she had been grieving and vulnerable. But for a moment he didn’t care. For a moment, when her lips touched his, his brain had disengaged, and his body had been only too happy to respond. Then he’d remembered. Because of the night’s revelations, Romana had been on his mind, and he remembered all too well the way he had turned to her in his grief. Then he’d married her in gratitude, instead of passion, because he’d been young and she’d been beautiful. Rose was young, as he had been, and he did not want to be her Romana. He wanted, more than he had ever wanted, to love her with the passion he had never felt with Romana, but he wouldn’t make her feel obligated to him.

 

                Not that any of that mattered, since she would probably not want to have anything to do with him after his abrupt departure. He sighed and sat up, swinging his legs off of the bed, when the door opened and Jack entered. He closed the door behind himself before turning to James. “Donna and her fiancée are here, and so is Jackie Tyler’s boyfriend. It’s about five now, we’re planning to move to another safe house in a few hours.” Jack gave him a critical look. “I saw you heading into Rose’s room last night. How is she?”

 

                He ran his hand through his hair and grimaced. “Oh, I’ve really screwed that up, Jack. I doubt she’ll want to see me at all after I made an arse of myself last night.”

 

                Jack sat on the end of the bed. “What do you mean? She was looking at you like you were her hero, yesterday.”

 

                “I… Well, she kissed me. And it was brilliant, but… She’s had a series of nasty shocks, and she’s grieving. I don’t want…I don’t want to be just a rebound for her. Then I thought about Romana, and I, well, I panicked and I ran.”

 

                “James. I’m sorry about Romana and I’m sorry about your parents. We’ll catch Saxon, and we’ll put him away. But you don’t have to feel guilty about falling in love again. I’m sure Romana would want you to be happy.”

 

                “No, Jack, you don’t understand. Of course, you don’t. I’ve never told anyone but Donna. You’re right, she would want me to be happy. I don’t feel guilty about falling in love again, because I didn’t. Fall in love again, that is.”

 

                “But, I thought you said-“

 

                “I did, and I meant it. But Jack,” he paused and sighed. He could tell Jack. The events were far enough removed that the guilt was bearable, now. “Look, I knew Romana practically my whole life. She was already family. I loved her most of my life, but she was more like a sister to me than anything else. Then, when my parents died, she was there for me. Donna didn’t make it back to London until the day of the funeral, but Romana dropped what she was doing, and she was there for me when I was shattered. After that, well… She was beautiful, and she was in love with me, and I wanted to make her happy. I loved her, but I was never in love with her. I didn’t recognize my feelings until she was dying. I would have adored our child, but I doubt our marriage would have lasted. That’s why I panicked. I don’t want to be her Romana, Jack. I don’t want her to feel like she owes me anything because I can’t hide my own bloody feelings!”

 

                Jack’s brow furrowed in thought, and it was a full ten seconds before he replied. “James, that’s… Well, it’s sorta understandable, but I don’t think the situations are really the same. For one thing, she hasn’t known you her whole life, and I don’t think she was looking at you like she thinks you’re her brother. For another thing, she may not be in love with you, yet, but think about it. We both know Stone treated her like shit, then here comes a gorgeous doctor to save her from the monster. And with the way you’ve been looking at her… It’s like you had a ‘Please kiss me, Rose Tyler’ sign hanging around your neck. I mean, did you even explain yourself to her, or did you just bolt?”

 

                “I, er, well, I told her I was sorry, and that I’d never take advantage of her, then I ran.” He knew it hadn’t been a good response to the situation, but he hadn’t been able to think clearly enough to say anything else at the time. It had been enough of a battle with himself just to walk away.

 

                “Aw, man. So, basically, the married girl of your dreams, who you’ve been pining over, is suddenly available and kissed you, and you rejected her.”

 

                “No! I didn’t reject her! I wouldn’t! But I don’t want her to feel like I’ve manipulated her into a relationship with me. I don’t want her to wake up three years from now, and find that I’m not really what she wants. Her husband died yesterday. She miscarried, after being beaten violently, the day before. A ruthless and violent man with a grudge is hunting us. How can I expect her to be ready for a relationship right now? I can’t, because she isn’t. And I won’t be able to be casual with her, Jack.”

 

                “Listen to me, James. I don’t know what she meant when she kissed you. But I can guarantee you that she saw you walking away as a rejection. So, if you want to have any chance whatsoever with her, you’d better find a way to explain yourself. And if she kisses you again, you thank your lucky stars and never let her go, you idiot! The last thing that poor girl needs is another man playing hot and cold with her. She isn’t you, her mistakes aren’t your mistakes, and if you want her you can’t push her away! Now, come on, we have a strategy meeting to get to.”

 

 

 

 

 

                The safe house was a dingy, warehouse sized building, and the front room was the largest. In spite of that, James found that the large room was rather crowded when he and Jack entered. There were eight people he didn’t know, presumably the security teams Jack’s organization had sent. They looked like swat team members. Donna and Lee were there, and Donna rushed over to give him a hug when he appeared, Lee trailing more slowly behind her. He barely heard her say. “What’s going on? All they would say is that it’s about Harry.”

 

                He managed to say, “I’ll tell you later,” but most of his brain was occupied with the group of people standing on the other side of the room from him. There was an older man in striped pajamas and a blue bathrobe. That must be Howard, Jackie’s boyfriend. Then there was Jackie herself. Jackie was giving him a look that wasn’t exactly angry, but was almost challenging. And sitting in the borrowed wheelchair was Rose. His focus zeroed in on her as he took in her dejected posture. She sat in almost the same position she had when she had come to A&E, staring at the floor. His heart clenched painfully and he knew Jack had been right. Rose thought he had rejected her. He was an idiot. He knew, knew he had been behaving like a man in love, so it should not have shocked him that she had kissed him. He had allowed his history and his insecurity to dictate his actions and he had hurt her. He had to find a way to fix this.

 

                He could hear Jack and River Song arguing with one of the other agents about how to distribute the team members between security and searching for Harry. But most of his concentration was taken up trying to compose a way to beg Rose for her forgiveness. He was abruptly pulled from his thoughts when she looked up from the floor and over towards the arguing agents and spoke. “If you’re so sure that he’s going to come after one of us, you should send Mum and Howard and I back to her house with one team and Donna and Mr. McAvoy and Dr. Noble back to his house with the other. Then, no matter which one of us he comes looking for first, you’ll have people there and you probably won’t even have to look for him.”

 

                She’d called him Dr. Noble. It was a form of address he heard every day of his life, but she hadn’t used it since he’d brought her to his home and told her his first name. She had called Donna by her first name, but him she had called Dr. Noble. He had never known formality could be so painful. He wanted to dwell on that, because he felt like that was a very big problem. He did not want to be Dr. Noble to her, ever again. Unfortunately, the actual words she had said were an even bigger problem, because they meant that she wanted to go home, and by home she did not mean his home. She wanted to use herself as bait, and she wanted to do it in a place where he wouldn’t be there to make sure she was safe.

 

                When she spoke, the room full of people fell silent. Until river Song said thoughtfully, “That might work…”

 

                Then James was unable to remain silent. “No. Absolutely not. You want to use me as bait, and put me somewhere Harry can find me so you can trap him, fine. But we do it in one place and we don’t break up the group.” He looked at Rose and wished again that he hadn’t been so stupid and cowardly the night before. “I’ve lost most of my family to Harold Saxon and I can’t sit at home while you’re somewhere else, wondering when he’ll get you, too.”


	12. Chapter 12

** Chapter 11 **

 

 

 

                “I’ve lost most of my family to Harold Saxon and I can’t sit at home while you’re somewhere else, wondering when he’ll get you, too.”

 

                Rose hadn’t looked at him once since he had entered the room with Jack, and that didn’t change until after he had finished speaking. He heard River agree to what he had demanded, and he knew that the agents were moving on to discussions of the logistics of capturing Harry, but his focus was on Rose. She had looked sad when she looked at him (of course she did, she was always sad), but when her eyes found his she looked startled to find his last sentence had been directed at her. He had just decided to cross the room and apologize with more than his eyes, audience be damned, when Donna grabbed his arm and hissed, “What do you mean you’ve lost most of your family to Harry Saxon? I’ve been pulled out of my bed in the middle of the night by some special forces looking goons, and nobody’s telling me what’s going on, so start talking!”

 

                He tore his eyes from Rose and looked down at his sister. She was angry and confused and scared, and he was going to have to tell her. She knew about Harry and Romana, and the assault. They had always been close and she had been there for Romana in the aftermath. But she didn’t know about the rest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at Donna in the eyes. “Harry was responsible for the fire and for the hit and run. He’s killed everyone but you,” he cut his eyes back to Rose where she had returned to staring at the ground. “And her.”

 

                “It was him?! And the fire, Mum and Dad? Why, James? Why would he do that? Because you stopped him?” She had started crying, but to her credit, her voice remained steady.

 

                “Because… I didn’t understand at the time, Donna. Not until years later. When I stopped him, he said it was my fault. My fault she didn’t want him. He must have wanted Romana, and she must have turned him down. Because she was in love with me even then.” He closed his eyes again as the familiar guilt washed over him.

 

                “We aren’t safe, are we? That’s why we’re all here. Wait. What does Rose have to do with this? Harry doesn’t know about her, how could he? You met her at A&E, she’s only been at your house for, what, a few hours?” Her tears had faded fast.

 

                “Yeah, actually, he may not know that I know her, and he certainly doesn’t know her, ah, personal importance, but he’s after her also. Her husband was his business partner, and Jack’s crew here were trying to get him already. Rose is able to identify him as a crime boss, which might make her a higher priority to Harry than me.”

 

                Donna snorted at his euphemism. “Personal importance? And was his business partner? As in, past tense?”

 

                “Oh yes, didn’t I mention that part? They had captured Harry yesterday, and he shot Miss Song over there and killed Mr. Stone while escaping. I’m pretty sure that’s why they already want to move us. He knows this place now, so it’s not a very good safe house, is it? “

 

                Donna smirked. “Well, can’t say I’m sorry about that Stone bastard. And you didn’t answer my first question. Personal importance?”

 

                He sighed. “To me.” He looked at Rose again. Still staring at the ground. He had to do something about that, but it would probably have to wait until they were somewhere less crowded with strangers. “She’s important to me, Donna.” He looked back at his sister to find her smirk had faded to a smile of affection. “Very important.”

 

                “I’m glad you found someone, Spaceman. But, you could have picked a better time.”

 

                “You have no idea, Earthgirl.”

 

                “Hey, James.” They were interrupted by Jack. “Is there space for all six of you at your house? Because Torchwood has a block of flats two streets over from your house, and it would be easy to set up surveillance there.”

 

                Well, he had asked for it. There were three bedrooms. Donna and Lee would share, and Jackie and Howard probably would as well. That left him and Rose and one bedroom. So, it looked like he would be sleeping on the couch. “Yeah, if I take the couch there is.”

 

 

 

 

                Even though they had started early in the morning, it was afternoon before Jack and the assorted agents involved in their protection allowed them to return to James’ house. First it had been decided that the six of them were to remain in the house until Saxon could be neutralized. They would revisit the policy if things went long, but until then, it was too dangerous for any of them to be walking around unattended, and walking around with armed escorts would give them away. So they would have to stay at home. Howard and Lee’s places of employment would be contacted by representatives of the crown, and told of their participation in a matter of national security, since they wouldn’t be able to go to work for the duration. The leave James had requested would be similarly extended. Three of the agents were dispatched to the house to install various surveillance instruments, to be monitored from the flats the organization, Torchwood, owned. Then, Jackie Tyler pointed out that there were no groceries in James’ kitchen, and that she and Rose still needed toiletries and clothing, as did Howard. Two more agents were dispatched with an enormous shopping list, including the clothes. Two more had been sent with lists to Donna’s and Lee’s houses to gather personal items for them. All of that had been delivered to the house before they were allowed to return. They were essentially on house arrest.

 

                James had used the time they had been forced to wait at the safe house to get a few more hours of sleep, and he was finally starting to feel as if he were fully awake. He needed to apologize to Rose, but he didn’t want to do it in a dingy warehouse, and he didn’t want to do it without his wits about him. She hadn’t said anything when he’d explained the sleeping arrangements. At least she was looking at him, now, but she looked confused and that was his fault. Before retiring to the tiny bedroom he had caught Jackie Tyler by herself. She had crossed her arms and given him a level look. “My daughter has been through an awful lot in the past year. And even more in the last few days. Right now, she’s feeling very hurt and confused on top of that. By you. I don’t think that’s what you meant to happen, but I’d like an explanation all the same, before we all end up trapped in your house together.”

 

                He needed her help if he ever wanted to talk to Rose alone again, so he had to give her a partial explanation. The details he would save for Rose herself. “You’re right. I do owe you both an explanation, and I never, never meant to hurt her.” He sighed. “And I know I’ve done just that. It’s just… She’s grieving, and she’s in a fragile emotional state. I don’t want to take advantage of her. I don’t want to push her into something she isn’t ready for and may not really want. I care about Rose, so much,” he pleaded with her. “I don’t think I could stand it if we… And then one day she realizes it wasn’t really me, it was just that I was here when she needed someone.”

 

                Jackie’s gaze softened. “You need to tell her that, dear.”

 

                “I know. I will. When we get back to the house, I’d like to talk to her. Alone. She deserves to hear it from me, in private.”

 

 

 

 

 

                Now, they were back at the house, after an awkwardly quiet ride in the same unmarked van Jack had driven them in yesterday. The Torchwood agents had put away the groceries, but they had left a mountain of shopping bags, along with luggage belonging to Donna and Lee in the living room. It took a bit of time to sort Jackie and Howard’s new things from Rose’s and move them into the bedrooms. He had given Donna and Lee his bedroom, so their things were moved there. Once the belongings were dealt with, Rose had returned to the middle bedroom to try for some rest.

 

                Donna and Jackie had bonded while sorting through the food Torchwood had provided and discussing plans for meals. They were going to make a shepherd’s pie together tonight. With the way the two women were getting along, he had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before Jackie picked up Donna’s habit of ordering him around. James stood in the doorway to the kitchen taking in the scene. Howard and Lee sat at the table talking quietly. Jackie was chopping vegetables and Donna was leaning against the counter. Those two were already acting like old friends, or… James felt a lump in his throat as the word came to his mind unbidden. Family. It had been so long since he had had any family besides Donna. He had bought the house when he had married Romana. Three bedrooms, to accommodate the family he had thought they would one day have together. Then she had died, and he had decided he didn’t deserve to have a family of his own. He hadn’t gone on one single date, even though he had been asked. He had focused on saving other people, and set aside thoughts of family. But Donna was going to marry Lee, and that made him family, as well.

 

                And there was Rose. He was in love with her, he couldn’t deny it to himself. He hadn’t even been able to deny it to Jack, and if Donna or Jackie were to ask him outright, he doubted he’d be able to deny it to them either. He couldn’t think of her as anything but family, whether she was aware of it or not. That made Jackie his family as well, and Howard. The house had been empty of everything but his memories for years, and now it was full of family. He felt a fierce protective urge rise up. He would not let Harry hurt any more of his family.

 

                He caught Jackie’s eye and inclined his head back in the direction of the bedrooms to indicate his intention to go speak with Rose. If she wasn’t asleep. She gave him a small smile and a nod, so he turned and headed towards the middle bedroom. When he got to the door he paused and took a deep breath before knocking. He heard a quiet, “Come in,” and opened the door. Rose was pushing herself up to sit in the bed, and she looked like she was expecting her mother instead of James.

 

                He closed the door behind himself and looked at her. “Hi. Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

 

                She looked embarrassed and he hated that he had given her reason to feel that way. “No, I wasn’t sleeping. It’s okay. Listen, I’m really sorry about last night. You’ve been so good to us and I… I didn’t mean to cross a line, and I don’t want to lose your friendship, so… I’m sorry.”

 

                He took a step forward. “No. Rose, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. I owe you an apology, and an explanation. You haven’t crossed any lines, and you won’t lose my friendship. Ever. I know my behavior has been, well, confusing. And I am so, so sorry. If… If you’ll let me, I’d like to tell you why. It wasn’t that it was unwelcome. Not at all.”

 

                She looked so uncertain, and he couldn’t stop himself from taking another step closer. “Really?”

 

                “Yes. I want to explain myself properly, though, and to do that, I’ll have to tell you about my marriage. Is that… Is that okay?” Another step forward. He was almost to the bed now.

 

                She held his eyes as she nodded, and he saw hope flicker there, followed rapidly by sadness at the mention of his marriage. She patted the bed like she had the last time they had been alone in this room together. He swallowed hard and sat next to her. “So. Donna and I grew up with Romana Trelundar and Harry Saxon. When we were young, the four of us were together, nearly all of the time. Harry and Romana were like siblings to us, the four of us were so close. But everything changed the summer Harry and I were fourteen. Donna was seventeen and Romana was sixteen, and they were both less interested in running around with a pair of fourteen year old boys than they used to be. That was the summer Harry… That was when he attacked Romana. I caught him and stopped him and he ran.”

 

                Rose had covered her mouth at his mention of the assault, then blurted out, “You caught him?! Oh, James, that’s awful!” It was awful, and the memory was one he had tried to bury, but she had called him James again so he had to fight to suppress a relieved smile. It wasn’t a happy story, and the point of it wasn’t something he was proud of, so it took less effort than it might have otherwise.

 

                “It is. Before he ran, he told me it was my fault. I didn’t understand him until much later. It was years later when my parents’ house burned in the night, with both of them inside. Donna was on a cruise at the time, and it took her days to get back to London. I was in med school, and it was right before finals that year, and I was, well, I was beside myself with grief. Romana was here, and she dropped everything to comfort me. I’m not sure I would have even taken my finals that year without her. And that was when I understood what Harry had meant. I had always loved her, she was like a sister. She had always loved me, too. But she… She was in love with me, she never saw me as a brother. I didn’t see it until after the fire. Then… She was beautiful, and I was young. She had been there for me, had suffered at Harry’s hands because she was in love with me, even so long ago. I wanted to make her happy, and I knew that she wanted to be with me. So, I married her, but I was never satisfied with our marriage the way I thought I should be. There was a voice in my head telling me something was missing. I shoved it aside, ignored it, threw myself into my work, but it never went away. She was dying on a surgical table when I realized I still saw her as something of a sister. I wasn’t in love with her. She deserved so much better than I gave her.”

 

                She grabbed his hand, and he felt a wave of relief that she was no longer pulling away. “I’m sorry you’ve been through so much,” she whispered.

 

                Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, and he wanted to wrap her up in his arms again, but he needed to get through the rest of his explanation. He settled for stroking her hand with his thumb as he continued. “That’s the only reason I pulled back last night. I…” He swallowed. He had to make sure she understood, he couldn’t let her think he didn’t want her. “I care about you. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone. And I know I’ve been acting like it. But you don’t owe me anything. You’ve been through so much, emotionally and physically. I want you to have the chance to heal. I will always, always be your friend, and when you’ve had time to get to know me, I will be anything you want me to be. But I care about you too much to start something casual with you, and I don’t want to… I don’t want you to be with me just because it’s obvious that I want to be with you. Because you’re trapped here and the men in your life haven’t treated you with the respect you deserve. I can’t bear to be to you what Romana was to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My summer class started Monday, so chapters will come more slowly, now. Sorry. PD


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My summer class is winding down, so...

** Chapter 12 **

 

                As she listened to James’ explanation, Rose understood that these were not things he shared easily, but he was sharing them with her. To have been the one to find a friend assaulting another friend, and then be told it was his fault. At only fourteen. Then, when he finished his story, the impulse to take his hand had been overpowering. His guilt must have dwarfed her own. He’d married his wife out of guilt, then felt guilt that he hadn’t loved her enough. Her nervousness fell away and a warmth built in her chest. “I’m sorry you’ve been through so much,” she whispered. His eyes were warm, and he stroked her hand with his thumb. Then he said the rest of what he had come to say.

 

                He cared about her that much? He wanted to be with her? “I will be anything you want me to be.” She knew he was right, that she was in a bad place emotionally and her body wouldn’t let her forget how badly Jimmy had beaten her the last time. He didn’t want casual, and he didn’t want to push her. But the thought of being with this man, this caring, gentle, gorgeous man…The feeling was completely different from anything she had ever felt before. Warm and protected and cherished, instead of distant and owned and neglected. He wanted her but he didn’t want her to do anything she didn’t want to do. “I can’t bear to be to you what Romana was to me.” And right now, she wanted to…

 

                She threw her arms around his neck again, and whispered, “You won’t be!” His arms went around her and that warmth grew stronger. She closed her eyes and felt the first real smile she had felt in months in the aching skin of her face even as happy tears spilled over. She hadn’t imagined the way he had been looking at her, he wanted her. After his story, she wanted to soothe him, and his fears. She knew she could never see him the way he feared she would. She slowly pulled back and cupped his face in her hands, looking into his eyes. He was looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the universe. She wanted to carry that feeling with her, always. “I care about you, too. I don’t think I could ever see you the way you’re afraid I will. And I don’t think I could do casual again, either. You’re right, I’m a mess, and I need someone I can trust completely. I already trust you. With everything.” She stroked her thumbs through the soft hair of his sideburns. His eyes slid closed and his mouth dropped open slightly, and she felt her smile widen. “We can go slowly. I’m hurt and we’re in danger and Mum is living here. But don’t be afraid I don’t really want this, because I do, so much. I want to be with you. And, please,” she heard her voice grow smaller as her own insecurities came washing back and her bravery deserted her. “Please, don’t push me away.” She was powerless to stop the hitching of her voice. “I- I think I need you.”

 

Her arms were tightly around his neck again. She felt his arms tighten around her and his head dropped to rest lightly against her shoulder. His words were a murmur against her skin, “I couldn’t push you away again if I tried.”

 

James rolled off the couch with a thump when the screaming began. He heard the opening of a door, followed by footsteps and the opening of another door as Jackie moved to wake Rose from her nightmare. He fumbled for his phone to check the time. Just after three in the morning. It wasn’t an unusual time for him to be awake, so he got up to make himself a cup of tea. He’d see if returning to sleep held more appeal in a little while. As he was waiting for the water, he decided to make a cup for Rose, as well. Jackie would likely go back to sleep after waking Rose, and Rose herself was unlikely to go right back to sleep after a nightmare. She might even enjoy his company.

 

He felt almost giddy as he thought back on their conversation that afternoon. And the way it had ended. He had shared his concerns for her, told her his story, and she had… She wanted to be with him. She didn’t want casual, promised she didn’t see him the way he had seen Romana. She was still physically fragile, but she had sounded so determined to reassure him, and then, then she had begged him not to push her away. Jack’s words had been ringing in his ears, saying the same thing. He’d never be able to deny her again. When he’d left her, she’d given him a kiss on the cheek, and thanked him. He’d told Jackie that he and Rose had worked out their misunderstanding and thankfully she hadn’t asked for clarification. He wasn’t sure what he would have told her. He and Rose were something more than friends, now, but just what he didn’t know. He supposed he might be her boyfriend, but that word seemed… inadequate. He loved her, and in the back of his mind he was already making plans for their forever. Then there was the fact that her husband’s death may or may not have been legally recorded yet, which meant she was still legally married. Of course now that she had said she wanted him, he wouldn’t have let their marriage stop him. He would have made sure she was free of Stone anyway, and as far as he was concerned, the man had no valid claim on her. And the fact was that Stone was dead. He had insisted that Jack verify that fact while he had been working on Miss Song’s leg.

 

He placed two cups of tea, along with dishes of milk and sugar, on a tray and headed to Rose’s bedroom. The doors were closed again, so he balanced the tray carefully with one hand and knocked on Rose’s door. “Come in. Mum, is that you?”

 

He opened the door and took the tray back into both hands. “Nope, sorry, it’s me. Thought you might like some tea.”

 

“I’m sorry, James.” She looked embarrassed again. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“No, not at all. It’s actually not that uncommon for me to be awake at this time.” He carefully placed the tray on the bedside table. “I go back and forth usually between afternoon and overnight shifts, but I’ve always preferred the overnight, since I’m a bit of an insomniac.” He sat next to her on the bed and she smiled at him, and it was a real smile, that touched her eyes, and he couldn’t stop it. He blurted, “I’m so glad I met you.”

 

Her smile got wider. “Me too. And thank you for the tea. It’s lovely.” They sipped their tea in silence for a few minutes. He was struck by how content he was, just soaking up her presence next to him. After they finished, he placed both of the cups back on the tray, and moved to stand, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Wait.” She looked nervous and shy, so he gave her a warm smile. “Would you mind… I mean if you don’t want to, I understand, but…”

 

“You can ask me anything, Rose.”

 

“Would you stay? It’s just it’s hard to sleep with the nightmares, and you… I feel better when you’re here.”

 

Oh. That was unexpected and… tempting. “What about your mum?” The bed was large enough, but he wasn’t sure if she’d want Jackie to wake to find the two of them in the bed together.

 

She rolled her eyes at him. “What about her? I’m a big girl, I’m widowed for crying out loud, she doesn’t get a vote. It’s okay if it makes you… uncomfortable, though.”

 

“No, it’s fine. More than fine. Here, let me just…” He might be uncomfortable when he woke, but he would deal with it. He had been sitting on top of the bed, so he stood briefly and turned out the light before pulling the comforter back far enough to slip under it next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into his chest. It felt so right, holding her, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He held her until they both fell asleep.

 

James woke to a quiet house, an unusual sensation, and the familiar sense of morning arousal. The unusual sensation was the warm weight pressed against his chest. His lips curled into a smile. Rose. Unfortunately, the familiar sensation was exacerbated by her presence. It had been so long since he had woken with a woman in his arms, and never a woman he felt so much for. The early morning silence from outside the bedroom told him it was an excellent time for him to extricate himself. He slowly rolled Rose to the side and slid his arm out from under her. He stood and was collecting the tray from their early morning tea when he heard a soft, “Good morning,” from the bed.

 

He turned and looked at her. The bruising on her face hadn’t yet begun to fade, and her hair was a mess from sleeping, but she was smiling at him shyly. His heart swelled and he was filled with a whirl of desire and love and joy. How had he ever struggled to identify what he felt for her? He wanted to wake up to her every morning. A smile stretched his cheeks. “Good morning. No more nightmares, I hope?”

 

She shook her head. “No. Thank you for staying.”

 

“Anytime. I’d rather sleep in a bed with a beautiful woman than on the couch any day. And you really needed some uninterrupted rest.”

 

“Would you help me into the chair? I spent most of yesterday in this bed, and I think I’m ready to be up for a while.”

 

“Sure. Let me run these things to the kitchen, and I’ll come back. Okay?” She nodded and he left the room. Just as he had thought, it was still early enough that everyone else was still in bed. He paused in the kitchen to take stock of his emotions. He and Rose had slept together. Only sleeping, and only for a few hours, but… It had felt so brilliant, falling asleep with her in his arms, waking to her weight draped across him. Even his unavoidable and completely inappropriate desire for her couldn’t dampen his mood. He sobered a bit remembering that Harry was still out there, somewhere, likely plotting some harm to befall the both of them. He was extremely grateful that it was all but impossible that Harry knew how he felt about Rose. He hurried back to her with a smile on his face.

 

On the evening after the first night he spent in the guest bed with Rose, James was arranging his bedding on the couch, when Rose spoke up. She was speaking to him, but she was looking at her mother, where Jackie was standing near the living room entrance. “You don’t have to do that. Share with me. The bed is much more comfortable, and there’s plenty of room.” Jackie had given him a long look before nodding and leaving the room. That was that. He was no longer relegated to sleeping on the couch. The six of them fell into an easy familiarity over the next several days. Meals together bled into watching telly bled into playing card games at the kitchen table. Donna and Jackie fell into wedding plans (he and Lee had finally convinced Donna to have an actual wedding, with Jackie’s help). Jack stopped by in the early afternoons to give them status updates (there weren’t any). Rose stopped needing the wheelchair, and Jack offered to return it to the hospital. Lee and Howard had been whispering together in corners, and James wouldn’t be surprised if Jackie received a proposal of her own by the time this was over. James and Rose spent several afternoons in conversation by themselves, getting to know one another, getting closer emotionally, and stealing the occasional snog when they thought no one was looking (they were).

 

Having her in his life on a daily basis, like this, was beyond his imagining. He’d thought he’d been consumed with thoughts of her before, when he’d barely known her. As he got to know her better, as he spent his days with her, his need for her, both emotionally and physically only grew more overwhelming. She had a way of smiling at him, with her tongue peeking out between her teeth that was beginning to drive him mad. Nights spent with her in his arms were sweet torture. He was no longer plagued by the nightmares where she begged for his help. Now his dreams were an altogether different sort of torment. But it was worth every ounce of sexual frustration to have her here, with him. Safe. As the days dragged by, Torchwood made absolutely no progress with finding Harry. James worried in the back of his mind about what would happen when they did catch him. Would she want to leave? Perhaps live with her mother? The idea, when it surfaced, filled him with a sort of panic. He did not want her to leave. He wanted Jackie and Howard to be safe to leave, he wanted Donna and Lee to go home, but he wanted Rose to stay. Indefinitely. He wanted to move the two of them into his own bedroom. He wanted to move her clothes into his closet, and her toiletries into the master bathroom. But he worried it was too soon to ask her to stay, and the last thing he wanted to do was rush her. However, Harry was still on the loose, so he shoved those thoughts aside whenever they came.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. I promise I haven't forgotten or abandoned this story. Life's just been crazy.

** Chapter 13 **

 

They were lingering at the table after dinner a week after their bizarre protective custody had begun, when the subject of Jack’s daily visits came up. “We’ve been here a bloody week and they haven’t seen hide nor hair of that man,” Jackie was complaining. “I’m starting to wonder if there’s maybe a bit of overreacting that’s been going on.”

 

Next to James at the table, Rose stiffened. “No, Mum. It’s not an overreaction. I don’t know what Mr. Saxon is capable of, but I know that he is terrifying and dangerous.”

 

“Just because they haven’t found him, doesn’t mean we aren’t in any danger,” James chimed in. “From what I understand, his organization has long arms. Even if Harry was spooked enough to go into hiding, he could still have people watching us, trying to get to us.” He continued with a slightly bitter tone, “I highly doubt he was actually personally driving the car that ran Romana down, after all.”

 

He felt Rose’s hand on his knee below the table in a gesture of comfort, and he calmed again. Jackie had a horrified look on her face. “Oh, James, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You’re right. It’s just hard to sit still in one place for so long. And we’re going to need groceries again soon, so I guess I was just hoping it would be safe enough to shop.”

 

James considered briefly. “Well, you are right about the groceries. Maybe when Jack visits us tomorrow he can take you and Donna on a brief shopping trip. And, oh! I know. We should plan a picnic. Jack could come with us, and Torchwood could keep an eye on us. Shouldn’t be too hard as long as we’re all still together. And we can get out of the house for a bit. Maybe day after tomorrow? Then you can get some things for the picnic when you shop tomorrow.”

 

Rose turned to him with a smile on her face as he finished making his suggestion. “Do you think they’d let us? I haven’t had a picnic in ages, and it would be so good to get outside for a while. I feel like I’ve been locked up enough for a lifetime already.”

 

As her words sunk in, James felt a brief burst of sorrow on her behalf. Stone had essentially kept her captive, and now she was captive still because of Harry. It was unacceptable. He smiled back at her. “I’ll make sure of it. We deserve a field trip. Like I said, as long as we’re all still together, they shouldn’t have a hard time keeping an eye on us.” She beamed at him then, her tongue peeking out of her smile in that way that drove him crazy. Suddenly, he didn’t care that it was too soon, and that she might not be ready to hear it. He _needed_ to tell her how he felt about her. He didn’t even care that she probably wouldn’t be able to say it back yet. He couldn’t go one more day without telling her. He wanted to be free to tell her at every opportunity. It would have to start with the first time. As soon as they were alone, tonight before bed probably.

 

He was still grinning at her, these thoughts spinning through his head when the doorbell rang. Every single person at the table grew still, and a thick sense of silent apprehension filled the room. James slowly slid his chair back and stood. “I suppose I should get that.” He looked around the room at the faces of his family. “It’s probably just Jack again, anyway.”

 

“Wait, James.” To his astonishment, it was Howard who spoke up. The older man had a strange look on his face as he stood as well. “I think maybe I should get it, actually. Maybe it is Jack, and we’re all worrying for no reason, but we all know that it’s you and Rose that mad man is really after.” Howard fidgeted for a moment while everyone just stared at him. It was the first time he had pushed himself forward like this with anyone but Jackie. “I think I’m the farthest removed, so… yeah. I’ll get it.” Then, without giving James a chance to argue, he left the kitchen headed towards the front door. James blinked at his receding back before looking back around the table. Only one person’s face was not painted with the same surprise he felt. Jackie. She had a knowing look on her face and a satisfied gleam in her eyes.

 

James sat back down and waited in the silence with the others. They heard the soft sounds of conversation drifting from the front door. It sounded like Howard was speaking with a woman. James felt the beginnings of relief. It wasn’t Jack, but it certainly wasn’t Harry either. That sensation quickly faded, however, as the voices shifted to a tone that indicated an argument. He looked around the table again and came to an easy decision. Whoever was out there, he wasn’t going to let Howard face them alone. This was his home, after all. Without a word, he stood and headed towards the front door and their unexpected visitor himself. He was so focused on resolving the situation that he didn’t register Rose following him from the kitchen.

 

As the front door came into view, he saw that Howard was arguing with a tall, slim blonde woman wearing a bulky jacket. The expression on her face did not match what he was expecting from the tone of their argument. The woman looked frantic, almost panicked, while her tone remained cold and determined. She looked up at James as he approached. He saw the light of recognition in her eyes, though he was quite certain he had never met her before. She immediately began to ignore Howard in favor of speaking to James. “James Noble.” Her eyes flicked briefly over his shoulder before returning to his face. “You and Rose Stone must come with me and you must come with me now.”

 

James began to feel a sick, queasy premonition. He hoped with everything he had that Torchwood was listening to this conversation. “Why would we want to do that now? Do you need help? You look upset, does someone need a doctor?” He was frantically searching his brain for some reason unrelated to Harry for this strange woman’s sudden appearance, but he was coming up blank. The barely controlled panic was still there in her eyes.

 

“You have to.” She stood very straight and looked James in the eyes as she unzipped the bulky jacket she was wearing and opened it. In an instant, James’ mind went completely still. He stopped breathing, and he ceased to be aware of anything except for what the woman had revealed, and Rose’s presence right behind him. He heard Rose gasp, while his eyes remained locked onto the mass of wires and explosives strapped around the woman’s chest beneath the jacket she was wearing. “Harry will blow us all up if I don’t come back with both of you.”

 

James felt completely frozen at the sight of a woman forced to be a walking bomb. Against her will if the look in her eyes was anything to go by. As he was trying to work up enough brain power to ask the woman who she was, Rose spoke from behind him. “Oh god, Lucy. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” And then his precious, beautiful, brilliant Rose was stepping around him and folding the terrified woman into a hug. The woman, Rose had called her Lucy, stood stiffly for just a moment before sobbing in Rose’s embrace. James felt gobsmacked. Who was this woman? She’d clearly been sent by Harry, but Rose didn’t seem the least bit afraid of her.

 

After holding the sobbing woman for a moment, Rose turned and looked at James. At that point James realized that the entire household had joined them at the front door. He watched as Rose took a deep breath before she said, “James, this is Lucy Saxon.” He saw the pieces beginning to fit together, then she continued. “She’s Mr. Saxon’s wife.” Her eyes drifted to her mother for a moment before she returned her attention to him. “I think we should go with her.”

 

When that last sentence left her lips, there was a veritable explosion of objections from everyone in the room. Everyone except for James, Rose or Lucy Saxon. Jackie was shouting that they’d be leaving over her dead body, and Donna was glaring at Lucy, while loudly expressing her opinion that she could just run home and blow herself up, but to leave her brother out of it. Howard and Lee were trying to calm their respective partners, contributing still further to the cacophony resulting from Rose’s suggestion. James tuned it all out and looked in Rose’s eyes. There was fear, but also determination, and compassion for Harry’s wife. Harry’s wife. Harry had a wife. After all this time, he still had it out for James over Romana, when he had a wife of his own. Then it clicked. Stone had been bad, but Harry was worse. That was where Rose’s determination must come from. This woman was as much a prisoner as Rose had been, and Rose knew it, and she couldn’t stand it. So brave, his Rose. That decided it for him. They would face this together, and hope that Jack and Torchwood could pull them out before things got out of hand. Still holding Rose’s gaze he nodded once decisively before turning around and bellowing, “Enough!”

 

The four who had been creating so much clamor fell silent and looked at him in shock. “This is what is going to happen. We are not going to allow Harry to blow Lucy up. Rose and I are going to go with her.” Here he paused and gave Jackie a warning look when she opened her mouth. Then his voice softened as he continued. “We will figure something out.” He looked at Howard then, impressed by the stand the man had made earlier, and mouthed the words, “Call Jack.” Howard gave a slight nod, and James felt a sliver of hope that they would get out of this unscathed. He gave Jackie and Donna each another warning look before he turned again to Rose. “Are you sure?” he whispered.

 

Her eyes were swimming with emotion when she answered him, and for a moment he thought he might drown in her. “I’m sure. We have to help her.” She reached up and touched the side of his face softly. “Thank you, James. I…”His heart leapt as he anticipated her next words, but if she was going to say what he thought and hoped she was going to say, then he couldn’t let her say it for the first time here, with an audience and a crisis. So he reached up and pressed two fingers against her lips gently.

 

“Shhh. I know. Let’s get through this first yeah?” She nodded slowly, eyes shining at him.

 

She looked at her mum and said firmly, “We’re going to do this, mum.” Her eyes shifted to Howard. “You know what to do.” Howard’s hand came up to rest on Jackie’s shoulder and he nodded at her.

 

“Rose, please. There has to be something else. Maybe Jack or one of those other people could just disarm the bomb? Anything Rose, please, don’t go. Please.” Jackie’s eyes were filling with tears, and her voice was shaking.

 

James’ heart was breaking for Jackie. He understood her pleas wholeheartedly, but he could also see that Rose was determined to save Harry’s wife. The last thing he wanted to actually do was go with this woman, but perhaps the Torchwood group could follow them and capture Harry for good finally. He was anxious for this nightmare to be over. “Mum. I promise we’ll be as careful as we can, but we have to try. I love you.” Rose’s voice was shaking by now as well.

 

Jackie rushed forward then and pulled Rose into a tight embrace. “I love you so much, sweetheart.” She pulled back and glared at James. “You keep her safe or I promise you’ll regret it!”

 

He knew truer words had never been spoken, and it had nothing to do with the implied threat. He bored his eyes into hers as he responded. “I’ll do everything in my power, Jackie. I swear.” Then he soundlessly mouthed, “Jack,” to her as well before turning back to Lucy Saxon. “Well, Mrs. Saxon. It looks like Harry gets what he wants this time. Shall we go, then?” He reached out and took Rose’s hand in his.

 

Lucy stared at him expressionlessly for a moment before she said, “Harry always gets what he wants. We won’t escape. I know you’re all planning something, but whatever it is, it won’t work. Harry _always_ gets what he wants. _Always_.” Then she turned and walked out the door without looking to see if they were following her.

 

James exchanged an uneasy look with Rose before following Lucy out into the night and the dark blue luxury sedan that was parked on the street in front of his house. Lucy was already waiting in the driver’s seat when he and Rose got to the car. James opened the back door, and Rose got in and slid across the seat to the other side. He followed her and closed the door, taking one last look back at his house as he was buckling himself in. He could see that Donna and Jackie were still hovering just inside his front door. He felt Rose take his hand again as Lucy pulled out onto the street. _Please_ , he thought. _Please let this be the beginning of the end for Harry. Please let me keep her safe._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank anyone who stuck with this story through my hiatus. I'm going to make every effort to finish this before the insanity of the fall semester begins.

Note: This chapter begins slightly before the end of the previous one.

 

** Chapter 14 **

 

                When James got up and went to join Howard at the front door, Rose immediately stood and followed behind him. James was going to support Howard, and Rose was going to support James. She could tell Howard was arguing with the woman at the door, and though she couldn’t make out their words, she thought the voice sounded familiar. The front door came into view and Rose felt her steps falter, before she followed to stand closely behind James. The woman arguing with Howard was Lucy Saxon. And despite the forceful tone she had been using with Howard, she looked terrified. Rose barely paid attention when Lucy addressed James and insisted that the two of them needed to go with her. Instead, Rose focused on the look in Lucy’s eyes. She knew that look. She knew that look intimately, only she knew it from the inside-out, instead of being on the outside looking in. It was the look of a woman whose _owner_ wasn’t pleased with her. Rose had only met Lucy Saxon a handful of times, including the birthday party that had been at the club, and they had never been left alone together long enough to converse, much less become friends. But as terrible and terrifying as Jimmy had been, Rose knew without a doubt that Mr. Saxon was much worse. This terrified woman was as much a prisoner as Rose had been, and Rose felt a kind of kinship with her, along with a fierce desire to see her set free as well.

 

Then, Lucy opened her jacket, and Rose felt all the air leave her lungs. “Harry will blow us all up if I don’t come back with both of you.” For an instant, the sight of an obvious bomb wired around Lucy’s chest left Rose frozen, both physically and mentally. Then her faculties thawed again rapidly as she realized Mr. Saxon was willing to _blow up his own wife_ to get to them.

 

“Oh god, Lucy. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Then she was stepping around James and wrapping her arms around Lucy Saxon, bomb and all. Lucy held herself erect stiffly for a moment in Rose’s embrace, before clutching at her and sobbing into her shoulder. Rose knew it wasn’t her fault that Saxon tormented Lucy, but the woman had been used as a human bomb to get to her and James. They had to do something. She turned and looked at James, took a deep breath and explained who Lucy was. She let her eyes drift to her mum’s briefly before focusing on James again. “I think we should go with her.”

 

She heard an eruption of shouting from her mum and Donna, as well as the sounds of Lee and Howard arguing, but she kept her attention focused on James. This man who had done so much for her, supported her at every turn, shared his own soul-crushing tragedies, offered her everything he was and asked absolutely nothing in return. Had, in fact, insisted she give nothing she wasn’t completely prepared and willing to give. She looked into his eyes and tried to convey why she needed to do this, hoping he would understand. Their gazes locked, he nodded at her before turning to the other four and shouting, “Enough!”

 

He then proceeded to tell them that they were going to do exactly as Rose and Lucy had said, and go with Lucy. When he seemed sure there wasn’t going to be another outburst of argument, he turned back to her and whispered, “Are you sure?”

 

She thought she might burst from the powerful waves of emotion that filled her in that moment. This brilliant, amazing man was willing to walk into a trap set by his worst enemy on her word alone. It was a revelation. “I’m sure. We have to help her.” She could not contain the impulse to reach out and stroke the side of his face. _This_ was _love_. Not the cheap imitation that Jimmy had offered her. He’d never said the words, but she’d read between the lines of his explanation about his initial hesitance, and she’d seen it shining in his eyes every day she’d spent with him. She _wanted_ to say the words. She wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone, that she felt the same. “Thank you, James. I…”

 

She saw a spark of happiness in his eyes just before he brought two fingers up and gently pressed them to her lips. “Shhh. I know. Let’s get through this first yeah?” She felt her own spark of happiness as she nodded at him. She thought he had understood her, and when this was all over, she would make sure he heard the words.

 

Then she turned to the other obstacle to her plan, her mum. “We’re going to do this, mum.” She looked at Howard. “You know what to do.” Then Jackie was begging her to stay, find some other way, but Rose knew that wouldn’t work. They needed to lead Torchwood to Mr. Saxon, and he clearly wasn’t going to show up here himself. If they didn’t want to spend a long time locked-down in this house, something else had to happen. If they were lucky, Torchwood had been listening, and would be ready to follow them to wherever Lucy took them. If they were very lucky, this would be the end of Harold Saxon, and Rose’s nightmare. And if Rose herself were very, very lucky, there just might be an honest to goodness prince charming waiting for her when she finally woke up.

 

Then Rose was telling her mum that they had to go, and she loved her. Then Jackie was hugging her fiercely, then she was threatening James, then Rose was following Lucy to the car she’d left parked on the road in front of James’ house. James opened the back door, and Rose slid across the backseat to make room for him. Once they had buckled themselves in, Rose took James’ hand as Lucy pulled out into the street.

 

During the first part of their drive, James made an attempt to keep track of where it was Lucy was taking them. Once he realized they were leaving the city, he stopped tracking the actual turns she made and let his mind wander to the upcoming confrontation with Harry. He had made a deliberate effort to bury all his memories of him, hadn’t even thought about him in years. The thought of facing him again, after so long, combined with the knowledge that Harry had been responsible for so much of the loss he had experienced, built the beginnings of a low, simmering rage inside of him. Wrapped up in forgotten memories, the hand Rose held unconsciously tightened momentarily, until the feeling of her hand in his brought him back to the current situation. Rose. A gift of shining light in the darkness he didn’t even realize his life had become. He could not allow Harry to damage her further. Whatever happened next, whatever Harry had planned for them, he had to make sure she got out. He wondered briefly how Harry had known that they would both be at his house, but he dismissed the thought immediately. Harry had apparently been watching him for years, it would have been a simple matter to note that she had entered his house and had not left. He tamped down on the flicker of panic that Harry might know how he felt about her. She was already in enough danger because of what she knew about Harry, if he discovered that James loved her, he would take great sadistic pleasure in torturing James with her pain. But, no. She had been at his home, but so had Donna, Lee, Jackie, and Howard. He and Rose had never displayed any affection publicly, because they had been trapped indoors for a week. So unless Harry was actually somehow watching what happened inside the house, he couldn’t possibly know what was between them. Of course, he and Rose had given Lucy Saxon a bit of insight into their relationship (that thought still sent a spark of excitement through him) back at the house, but maybe… Well. He’d have to hope that the terrified woman was too wrapped up in her own danger to take notice of their interactions. And he would have to be very, very careful when they got to wherever they were going. He desperately hoped Rose would understand, that he would have to appear detached from her. He couldn’t give Harry anymore ammunition to use against them.

 

The ride had so far been silent, and James spent a moment making sure Lucy was concentrating on driving before he let himself lean towards Rose. He didn’t turn his head, instead he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He felt her body shift slightly in his direction and he whispered, as softly as he could manage, barely a breath of sound. “We have to be separate here.” He waited, holding his breath, until he registered a slight nod of her head. Then he returned to his previous position. He felt her hand slowly slip out of his and he wanted to cry out at the loss of contact. She was right, though. He could hardly expect Harry not to notice that they were holding hands. And that would send exactly the message he wanted to avoid.

 

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat. He wanted to plan, but he had no idea what was waiting for them at the end of this journey, so he settled for gathering his focus. If he allowed his emotions to rule his actions, things would go very badly. Harry would no doubt try to bait him, so he had to be prepared for anything. It occurred to him then, that Harry himself had spent a life ruled by his emotions, albeit negative ones. He wondered if he could use that to his advantage. Though, manipulating Harry into losing control would be very dangerous. He’d leave that for a last resort.

 

James woke with a start when the engine shut off. When the moment of disorientation passed he was shocked to realize he had dozed off for the end of the trip. How had he managed to relax enough to sleep? He glanced out the window and saw that they had stopped in front of what appeared to be an old farmhouse, fallen into disrepair. Looking around he saw no other buildings, no indications of anyone who wasn’t a part of their capture. No other vehicles, and no light from inside the house itself either. Also no indication that they had been followed by Torchwood agents as he had hoped. He had never been religious, but he found himself praying to any entity that would listen that the agents were simply good at remaining unseen.

 

Lucy turned in the front seat to look at them then. “We go into the house, and you do exactly as you’re told. No one speaks unless they are asked for a direct response. We do NOT make him angry. Do you understand?”

 

Despite the words, the woman’s face and voice were completely emotionless. That fact alone made all of James’ fears climb still higher. They were going into that farmhouse, and Harry Saxon would be in there. The man who had raped and killed Romana, and their child. The man who had killed his parents. The man who wanted to do gods knew what to his precious Rose. He had wanted to face Harry with an emotionless mask of his own, knowing instinctively that Harry would lunge for any vulnerability he displayed. In this moment, however, he realized that that would be impossible. There would be absolutely no way he could hide the fury he was beginning to feel. Inside that farmhouse was a man who had done his level best to destroy James’ life, and wanted to do the same to Rose. James had been angry many times in his life, most frequently with his firecracker of a sister. Like siblings do, they knew how to push each other’s buttons. But never before had he experienced hatred. Not truly. Not like in this moment. He hated his former best friend with a vitriol he hadn’t known he was capable of.

 

James unbuckled himself and stood next to the car while he waited for Lucy and Rose to join him. _First do no harm_ floated through his head and he snorted derisively. Harry might be expecting them to walk into this trap like lambs to the slaughter, but James had finally had _enough_. Whether Torchwood had followed them or not, this needed to end. Tonight. No matter what he had to do, James was going to put a stop to this. No more. He and Rose could not live their lives looking over their shoulders constantly worried if Harry would catch up to them again. James was going to end Harold Saxon.

 

Lucy glanced at the two of them again before heading up the driveway to the front door of the farmhouse. She opened the door and led them inside. It was every bit as abandoned on the inside as it had appeared from the outside, and so dark he couldn’t make out what was waiting for them inside. Once he and Rose were both inside the house, Lucy shut the door. There was a dark and pregnant pause in the pitch black interior of the farmhouse, and then bright light filled a room further into the house. The rapid change in illumination caused James to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment before peering through his lashes at what the light had revealed.

 

The figure of a man appeared in the bright light coming from the doorway to the room, and though James couldn’t see his features, due to the light coming from behind the man, he knew it was Harry even before the man spoke. “Oh, very well done, Lucy my dear. Very well done, indeed. I must say that I wasn’t entirely convinced I’d given you enough motivation to complete this particular task, and yet here you are! James Noble and Rose Stone, both now at my mercy, just as I asked! This deserves a reward, my dear. Come, let’s get you out of that nasty get-up.” The voice was different, older, but there was absolutely no mistaking it. “Oh, hello, James! My, but it has been ages, hasn’t it? We have so much to catch up on, but you and Rose just wait right there while I take care of Lucy. A man has to take care of his wife, right James? Oh, I forgot, you don’t have a wife anymore! That was insensitive of me. Ah well. And you, Rose! Newly widowed, you have my condolences.”

 

“What do you want, Harry?” James heard the anger in his own voice and struggled to control himself. If he lost control they wouldn’t get out, and besides, it was what Harry wanted.

 

“Well, now that the two of you are here, I have everything I want. It’s really rather unbelievable that you were both in the same place. Made things rather simple really. Now, don’t move a muscle, I’ll be right back.” Then both of the Saxons walked away and left he and Rose standing in front of the door. _This is too easy_ , James thought. _We could run for it…_

 

“Oh, and James… The farmhouse is surrounded by men with orders to shoot anyone fleeing the house.”


	16. Chapter 16

Warnings: Mention of rape, non-con kissing.

****

** Chapter 15 **

 

                Jack was riding in the black van that carried the second wave of pursuit following the car that James and Rose had left the house in, when the expected phone call came. He barely glanced at the number before answering with the perfunctory, “Harkness here.”

 

                “Oh, Jack, thank goodness you answered, they’ve taken them! Some woman showed up, Rose said she was that Saxon bloke’s wife, had a bloody bomb strapped around her chest! She took them!” Jackie Tyler’s panicked voice came loudly out of the earpiece of Jack’s mobile.

 

                “Calm down, Jackie. We know, we heard everything. We’re already following them. We have two agents tailing them as closely as they safely can, and the rest of us are following in the van further back.”

 

                “Can’t you just, I don’t know, stop them before they get wherever they’re going and disarm the bomb, or something?”

 

                Jack sighed and closed his eyes while he formulated his response to the frantic mother. “Possibly. It’s also entirely possible that she’s wearing a wire, and he’ll know as soon as we stop them that something is wrong. And if she’s also wired with some form of remote detonation… Let’s just say that would not be good.”

 

                There was silence on the other end for a moment. Just when Jack was about to check and see if she had hung up, he heard, “Please, Jack. She’s my little girl. Please get her out of there safely.”

 

                “Jackie, I swear to you, we will do everything in our considerable set of skills to get both of them out of there safely. And if we’re all lucky, we can grab Saxon, too, and you can put this whole thing behind you for good.”

 

                “I seem to recall your people had already grabbed him once and that didn’t turn out to be the end then.”

 

                “I am really, really sorry about that, Jackie. I will personally call the house as soon as we have any news at all. I promise. But right now, I’m going to have to focus on the operation if we want to do this safely. Okay? And do not let anyone else into the house until you hear from me or one of my people.”

 

                James stood stiffly next to Rose in the dim front room of the farmhouse. From the lit room that Harry and Lucy had disappeared into he could hear the soft murmur of conversation, as well as what must have been the sounds of Harry removing the contraption that had secured the explosives around her chest. He was attempting to wrestle control of his emotions and think rationally about their predicament. If Harry was telling the truth, and there truly were armed men around the house, waiting to shoot if they ran, then they really had no options. They would have to hope that Jack and his team would show up and pull them out. And those same armed men would probably mean a delay for their rescuers, at the least. Possibly an all-out disaster if they weren’t anticipated. James certainly hadn’t anticipated them, and their presence was more than worrisome.

 

                Even if Torchwood hadn’t been listening, one of the four very worried people back at his house would have called Jack immediately. So even if they hadn’t been quick enough to follow, there was a chance they would still be able to track them here. It would just take time. It meant that he needed to stall, to find a way to keep Harry from doing anything too drastic before the agents could find them. Harry would probably be satisfied just to taunt James for a while, and drawing that part of the proceedings out would probably be the easiest way to give the agents time. Not that it would be easy. He took a deep breath and chanced a glance at Rose to steel himself.

 

                She was standing with her shoulders slightly hunched, her hands clasped together in front of her. She was staring at the floor. At the sight of her, he didn’t know whether to be glad that she had taken his whispered instruction in the car so seriously, or to be heartbroken and further angered at how quickly she slipped back into that submissive and dejected posture. He was spared the time to consider his reaction when Harry reappeared in the doorway. Now that his eyes had adjusted to the lighting inside the house, he could see that the room beyond was a kitchen, although the angle of his view made it impossible to tell just what Harry might have waiting for them in there.

 

“Now then,” Harry was saying as he took a few slow steps in their direction. An icy, skittering dread washed down James’ spine at the manic, gleeful cruelty on Harry’s face. “You and I do have a lot to talk about James, and originally, I intended to dispose of Stone’s cheap whore before I got to the real prize of the evening.” James struggled mightily to remain stoic in the face of Harry’s blatant, off-handed insults to Rose, and his casual reference to disposing of her, because he was now terrified that Harry would figure out just how much Rose meant to him. “However,” Harry’s slow approach had continued, and he had kept his eyes locked on James. For a moment as he drew close to them his eyes cut over to Rose and he raked them over her form with an obvious leer before returning his eyes to James with a smirk on his face. “Lucy did have the most intriguing story to tell about her trip. I am quite curious now. She’s not unattractive, and I could understand Stone’s need to keep a whore handy. After all, it’s not as if his personality was going to do him any favors in that area.” It was taking every ounce of James’ concentration not to pound Harry’s face at this point. Only the knowledge that Harry still had that explosive device somewhere and that there were armed men outside the house allowed him to remain in check as Harry continued. “But Lucy tells me that it was Rose here who convinced you to come with her. Now,” Harry paused and looked perplexed. “Why is that? Hmmm? You were all ready to argue with her until,” he jerked his thumb at Rose, “the whore there said you should come with her. Then you agreed immediately. Why would you do that, I wonder? You never struck me as the type to make use of a whore, but I suppose you have been alone for a while…” Harry’s eyes glittered with cruelty as he smirked a James.

 

“Stop it.” He couldn’t stop the angry flow of words, but he had enough presence of mind to attempt to disguise his outburst. “She’s not a whore. She’s a girl who’s been taken advantage of. And she didn’t convince me, the bloody bomb you put around _your wife’s chest_ did. Now, what do you really want, Harry? Haven’t you done enough? You’ve won. You’ve destroyed my family and my life. My parents, Romana, MY CHILD! What more could you take, Harry!?” All of his bottled up emotions were thundering to the surface now as he took a step towards Harry in his fury. Even his concern for Rose’s safety evaporated as the rage took hold. All he could see was the man in front of him and every vile act he had committed against his family.

 

Instead of reacting violently, Harry calmly pulled a small, shiny handgun from his trouser pocket as his smirk turned into a smug smile. “Ah, ah, ah. You’re going to want to control yourself. I seem to have struck a nerve. Fascinating.” The madman held the gun pointed casually in Rose’s direction as he studied the pair of them for a moment. James had frozen at the sight of the weapon and in the back of his mind a thread of logic struggled to assert itself over his anger. Then Harry’s eyes focused on James again as a sneer crossed his face. “And don’t pretend you cared about Romana. I know you never loved her.” At his mention of Romana, that thread of logic lost what power it had begun to exert and James almost moved forward again with violent intent when a rather terrifying giggle from Harry froze him in place again.

 

He moved in a slow circle around them as he spoke. “But this, this is something entirely unexpected.” Another insane giggle from behind him, and suddenly James was more afraid of whatever Harry was about to say than he had been of the bomb strapped around Lucy Saxon’s chest. He continued his slow circuit around them until he was face to face with James again. The smile on his face triggered the most rapid change in emotional state James had ever experienced. In an instant his fury drained away to be replaced by terror. It felt like all of his blood had been exchanged for ice water in a fraction of a second, a moment frozen between heartbeats. He saw the truth in Harry’s eyes before he even spoke. “How very brilliant! It’s like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one! You care about her!” He spun away from James with another manic laugh before looking back at them. “But it’s even better than that, isn’t it? You don’t just care about her, do you? No, of course not.” His smile got even wider, and James thought he was going to be sick. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He remembered thinking the same thing when Romana died, but felt it more keenly now. Harry wasn’t supposed to find out. Rose wasn’t supposed to hear it like this. From someone else, with intent to hurt. “You love her!” He shook his head slightly as he continued. “Can’t say that I understand it. You had the perfect woman and couldn’t appreciate her. Then you fall in love with some cheap whore? Imagine if your parents could see you now. Really you should be thanking me, James. Surely you don’t think _they_ would approve of _her_?” The sneer had returned to Harry’s face.

 

In spite of the fear roaring through his body, James knew several things with perfect clarity at that moment. The first was that his parents would have absolutely approved of Rose Tyler’s presence in his life. He had never known two people more in love than his parents had been and he knew with certainty that they would have wanted the same thing for Donna and himself. The second thing he knew was that if Harry was going to steal this declaration from him, like he had stolen so much already, then he was at least going to let her hear it from him as well. It was too late to deny it. “As a matter of fact, I think they would have adored her.” He tore his eyes from Harry’s and forced himself to look at Rose for his next sentence. “You’re right. I’m in love with her.” He turned back to Harry before he could let himself watch for her reaction to his words. “And you’re also right that I was never in love with Romana. But I did care about her. And if you hadn’t murdered my parents I would probably never have married her. If you hadn’t forced yourself on her she might have realized that I saw her as a sister. What she felt for me might have turned into a childhood crush and you might have had her yourself. Instead, you made her see me as her hero, and ruined your own chances all at once. So don’t you pretend that you cared about a woman you raped and then had killed when she was pregnant!” Any shred of rational thought had fled as the words came tumbling out.

 

Harry stuck the gun in James’ face when he started moving forward again. “I think that’s enough reminiscing for the moment. In the kitchen, now, both of you.” His face was still filled with that insane light, but his voice left no room for argument. James moved towards the doorway, but stopped just inside the doorway when a fresh wave of fear rolled down his spine. On the other side of the room were two sturdy looking metal chairs with what appeared to be manacles on the arms and front legs. He’d barely paused when Harry’s voice said, “Go sit in the chairs or I start removing the whore’s toes.” With a feeling approaching all-out panic James rushed across the room and seated himself in one of the disturbing chairs. He felt a very small measure of relief when he saw that Rose had not hesitated to seat herself in the other chair. He looked back at Harry to find the man still smiling that horrible, self-satisfied smile. After simply looking at them for a moment he crossed to them and knelt in front of them. As he went about systematically securing their feet to the chairs he smirked up at them. “Usually, it’s other people who are on their knees in front of me, but as this is a very special occasion, I’m happy to make an exception to that rule.”

 

Once Harry had their feet restrained he stood again and moved on to fastening their arms to the arms of the chairs. After, he stood back and seemed to admire his handiwork for a moment before looking James in the eyes and wiggling his eyebrows. He kept his eyes locked on James as he stepped closer to Rose. Without looking at her he reached out and touched her cheek briefly before she jerked her head back from his touch. He never looked away from James as he chuckled and then said, “Oh, Rose, you and I are going to have the very best time, my dear.” James thought his heart would stop at the strangled whimper Rose made, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from Harry’s. “It’ll be just like old times, James,” Harry continued softly. “You, watching me have a go at a girl, who’d rather have you. It’s so fitting, don’t you think? Like coming full circle for you and I.”

 

As far as James could recall, Rose hadn’t said a single word since they had gotten in the car with Lucy Saxon. So he felt as surprised as Harry looked when she chose that moment to speak. “What about Lucy?”

 

Harry narrowed his eyes as he turned to focus on her. “What about Lucy?”

 

“Yes, Lucy. Tall, blonde, married to a bastard? You’re obsessing about his wife, and coming on to me, and you have a wife of your own. I mean what the hell is the matter with you, exactly?”

 

In the stunned moment before Harry’s reaction, James was simultaneously thrilled that Rose’s sense of self seemed to be healing so fast and horrified that it had chosen this particular moment and situation to manifest. Then Harry leaned in close to her face and purred at her. “Oh, Rose Stone, Lucy is a tool just like you. And right now _you_ are the exact tool I need.” Then he kissed her hard. James just had time to register her startled gasp when his vision went white and he found himself struggling against his restraints, even though he knew it was pointless. In his head there was nothing but _No. No. Not this. Not again. Not this. Not her._ Then he heard another gasp and a slapping sound. His vision returned at Harry’s angry exclamation. “You fucking bitch!” The first thing his eyes registered was the blood on Harry’s mouth. His mouth dropped open in shock. Rose had bit him. He felt a hysterical laugh building in his chest and fought down the urge. Laughter would only make Harry angrier and that was the last thing they needed.

 

His hysteria died when he caught the look in Harry’s eye, though. That look told him that time was up and Harry was done playing with them. He surged forward and grabbed Rose by the throat. James could hear himself frantically begging Harry to let her go, but there was no conscious thought involved in the words coming out of his mouth, and Harry wasn’t paying them any attention. Instead he was utterly focused on the unintelligible words he was growling into Rose’s face. James could see he wasn’t listening, and he could see that Rose couldn’t breathe, and he was strapped to this stupid chair and there was nothing he could do.

 

Just when he thought the panic and fear were going to tear his chest open there was the unmistakable sound of gunfire outside the farmhouse. Harry tore away from Rose and across the room so quickly James barely registered the motion. “Let’s see what kind of unwanted visitors you’ve brought along with you, shall we? Don’t worry. I’ll be back to take care of our unfinished business as soon as I can.” He paused and gave James a considering look. “It’s probably for the best anyway. I almost lost my temper and spoiled all of our fun. We can’t have that, now can we?” With another smirk he walked away and left them trapped in the farmhouse kitchen.


	17. Chapter 17

** Chapter 16 **

 

                Rose’s breath was coming in heaving gulps when Harold Saxon walked out of the farmhouse kitchen. She was far more than a little shocked at the series of interactions that had just taken place in the farmhouse. She was shocked at her own actions, shocked by James’ declaration, and not quite shocked at Mr. Saxon’s actions. She had already known without doubt that Harold Saxon was far worse than Jimmy could ever have been and she was beyond terrified of him. But, James had… When he had explained his marriage to her, he had told her that he had never been in love with his wife. And he had told Mr. Saxon that he was in love with her. With her. With Rose. She had suspected, but to hear him say it out loud…

 

                When he had admitted to his feelings, her heart had leapt at the same time that her stomach had dropped. She wanted to wrap herself in the warmth that had accompanied his words, but Mr. Saxon would use his feelings, their feelings, to hurt them. He had already spent years hurting James, in the most horrendous ways she could imagine. A fairly large portion of her wished that Mr. Saxon had made good on his threat to simply ‘dispose’ of her. She had come a long way from the depression that had threatened to swallow her just over a week ago, and she didn’t have a death wish. And she knew that her death would hurt James deeply, but not as badly as whatever else Saxon was now planning.

 

                After he’d locked the two of them to these terrifying chairs and his taunts had made clear exactly which method of torment he had in mind for them, she had seen the look on James’ face. At the anguish and despair in his eyes she had not been able to remain silent. Saxon was using _her_ to hurt James. She would have said anything at that point to pull Saxon’s attention away from him. Lucy had been the first subject that had come to her frantic mind. She knew it was foolish and dangerous to taunt him, but she hadn’t been able to bear listening to any more of his cruel words to James. She’d expected him to hit her, for calling him a bastard. She could handle that. She’d been hit before, and Jimmy had been a bigger bloke than Saxon. She had not expected the punishing kiss. Through her shock, she had heard James panicking, pulling at his restraints in a useless frenzy, and realized that this was probably the thing he feared beyond all others. So she had done the only thing she could think of.

 

                She’d opened her mouth against his just enough to bite down on his lower lip. Hard.

 

                She tasted the copper of his blood, heard his sharp inhalation as he ripped his face away from hers, but her burst of satisfaction was short lived. Her head snapped to the side at the force of his blow. “You fucking bitch!” She turned her head back to look at him and realized she might just get her earlier wish to be disposed of. She looked into his eyes and saw madness, and fury, and her own end staring back at her. He had seized her throat and for the second time in less than two weeks, Rose Tyler was certain that she was going to die. Only this time there was no child for her to protect, and she felt no fear on her own behalf. This time she was filled with regret and anguish. Anguish for the man next to her, whose pleas for her life were falling on cruel, deaf ears. She didn’t want him to have to watch her die. Fierce regret that he hadn’t let her tell him how she felt, back at the house. He would never know that she felt the same.

 

                And then a sound that she had never thought that she would be happy to hear. Gunfire. Outside the farmhouse. Saxon had been off of her and across the room in a flash, though it seemed he couldn’t resist pausing to taunt them one last time before disappearing. As she struggled to draw enough air into her oxygen-starved lungs, she turned to look at James. He was staring at her with wide eyes, filled with remorse, worry, relief, and that thing she’d been seeing in his eyes almost from the very beginning. That thing that she was now pretty sure was love.

 

                “I’m so sorry, Rose,” he choked out.

 

                She took another deep breath and swallowed before she felt she could attempt speech through her abused throat. “Don’t be. You didn’t do it and I couldn’t listen to him saying those things to you anymore.” Her voice was raspy and soft, but steady. She meant every word.

 

                “But, you shouldn’t have-“

 

                She cut him off before he could continue, keeping her eyes on his. “I’m in love with you, too, James. I couldn’t let him keep doing that to you. And if it weren’t for you he would have just killed me outright. So stop blaming yourself, because it isn’t your fault.”

 

                At her first words he looked shocked, and then something like awe joined the myriad emotions in his eyes. “Rose…” he whispered. Throughout their quiet conversation, periodic gunshots had continued sounding, but she had ignored the sounds, focused as she was on James. But she looked up when Lucy Saxon entered the kitchen through a second door which had been closed since they had entered the room.

 

                “That’s all very sweet,” she announced. “But if you want to get out of here I have to release you now before he gets back.”

 

                “Why would you do that? You brought us here, and you said whatever plan we had wouldn’t work. Why should we trust you?” James’ words were suspicious and belligerent. Rose turned back to him with a frown.

 

                “James – “

 

                Lucy spoke at the same time. “I want you to take me with you. I’ll help you and then you’ll help me. It sounds like you brought more than Harry was expecting and… Please. Take me with you.” While she had been speaking, she had moved to kneel at Rose’s feet and pulled a key from her pocket. “He doesn’t know I found the extra key to the chairs.” She swiftly unlocked their foot restraints, then stood and immediately began working on their hands. Rose was fully free first and stood to watch as Lucy finished releasing James.

 

                When she had finished, she looked down at him and said, “Please. I don’t know how long he’ll stay gone and we have to go. He’ll kill us.”

 

                At that moment the sound of the front door of the farmhouse opening and slamming closed could be heard, followed by rapid footsteps before the most welcome sight Rose could have hoped for appeared to the three frozen people in the farmhouse kitchen. “Thank god you’re both okay,” Jack Harkness breathed without a trace of his usual bravado as he stopped at the kitchen door. He leveled the weapon in his hands at Lucy Saxon. “James, Rose, we need to get to the van now. Extraction is taking precedence over capture this time. Mrs. Saxon, you’re coming with us, too.”

 

                Rose couldn’t stop herself from defending the woman. “Jack, she’s the one who unlocked us. She wants to come with us. Why don’t you use that to protect us from the other people with guns, yeah?” She watched Jack’s eyes track to the chairs Lucy had released them from, back over to Lucy Saxon, and finally to Rose herself.

 

                He gave her a curt nod. “Fine. Let’s move.” Then he turned and headed back the way he had come. Realizing she was supposed to follow Jack back to the front door and out into the gunfire punctuated darkness outside, her adrenaline fueled courage began to fail her. Lucy had already moved to follow Jack, but Rose felt suddenly frozen with fear of what would happen next. She couldn’t make herself take a single step and her vision began to tunnel. Then a comforting warmth touched her right hand and she blinked. James was standing next to her and had taken her hand. He was looking down at her with deep concern.

 

                “Rose. We need to go with Jack. Let’s go home, okay?”

 

                She swallowed and nodded, then let him lead her to where Jack was waiting impatiently by the front door. “Okay, the van is fifty yards to the right when we exit this door. Two agents are waiting there, everyone else is working cover. I will cover us also. The plan is for us to jump in the van and get out of here. No complications, got it?” Jack was speaking rapidly, his eyes flicking between the three of them.

 

                “What about the other agents? The ones ‘working cover’? How do they get away? And what about catching Harry?” James questioned. Rose could feel the tension in his grip on her hand.

 

                Jack gave James a grim smile. “Once we’re gone they’ll switch from cover to capture tactics. At this point I care way less about capturing him than I do about getting you two out of here. Are we ready?”

 

                Rose found herself nodding, even though she was nowhere near ready to face this. She was fairly certain that she should not be running right now. Her body had not yet recovered from the ordeal Jimmy had put it through. There was no avoiding it, however. She tightened her grip on James’ hand as Jack pushed the door open. The four of them burst out of the door, and Rose, James, and Lucy all turned right and began sprinting blindly in the direction of the van. Jack was following at a slower pace, swiveling his head, body, and eyes as he tried to make out any potential attackers. Suddenly, a shadow in front of them resolved into the shape of a dark unmarked van that Rose remembered from two previous trips. They got closer, and the side door of the van flung itself open. A man wearing what Rose now recognized as Torchwood mission gear was inside, gesturing for them to get in. There had been no words during their short flight, no sounds from the combatants on either side except for the continued, periodic sounds of weapons discharging. Rose had counted at least four shots she was certain were aimed at their group. They reached the open van door after what seemed to be an eternity to Rose. James moved to help her into the van when another shot rang out, much closer than the others she had heard. It was followed closely by a strangled scream. In horror, Rose turned back to see Lucy had been hit. “No!” she shouted, and tried to pull her hand from James’ so she could go back for the woman who had freed them.

 

                His hand clamped down on hers forcefully. “Jack has her Rose. Get in the van. Please, Rose.” She tore her eyes away from Lucy to look at James. His eyes were full of fear. Not for himself. For her. He was right, she needed to trust Jack. So, she nodded at him and let him help her into the van. He followed and then turned back to help Jack with Lucy. As soon as Jack and the injured woman were in the van the door slammed shut and the vehicle accelerated away.

 

 

                James heard that last, terrifyingly close shot, followed by Lucy Saxon’s pained shout. In the split second before Rose reacted to the sounds, he knew what she was going to do. He clamped down on her hand hard enough to just avoid hurting her when she tried to pull away and run back for the fallen woman behind them. He couldn’t let her go back, couldn’t risk Harry capturing her again, had to get her in the van and away from there. He knew without any doubt that he would be shattered beyond repair if Harry managed what he clearly intended with Rose. “Jack has her Rose. Get in the van. Please, Rose.” He knew his absolute terror was radiating from his voice and expression but he had no will to temper his emotions. When she nodded at him he felt the beginnings of relief and hope filtering through his fear. He helped her into the van, trying not to think about what their flight might have done to her physical condition, what would have happened if Jack‘s team hadn’t arrived when they had, what she had said back at the farmhouse. He followed close behind her before turning and helping Jack with Lucy Saxon. His friend had dropped his gun and carried Lucy in both of his arms at a near run. Once Jack and Lucy were both in the van he slammed the side door closed and the agent in the driver’s seat rocketed them away.

 

                James took a deep shuddering breath. He wanted nothing more than to take Rose in his arms and let the relief overwhelm him. He wanted to tell her again that he loved her and ask her if she had meant what she had said, but his medical training told him the gunshot wound in the group should take precedence. So he restrained himself to a brief look and a squeeze of her hand before he turned to Jack and the whimpering blonde he still held in his arms. He ran his eyes over Lucy Saxon’s shaking form, taking in the amount of blood on her clothes and on Jack with a sinking feeling. “Jack, I need to see where’s she’s hit. We’ll need to gently roll her over so I can see. Lucy, I’m sorry, but this will be painful.” His voice had reverted to the clinical tone he used at work, and he was grateful for the slight detachment that accompanied his professional personality. He couldn’t truly detach from the situation, but the slight distance helped him to focus.

 

                Lucy whimpered again when they shifted her, and what James saw was not good. The location of the entry wound in her back told him there was likely internal bleeding. And the bullet was certainly still lodged inside of her somewhere. He couldn’t help her with the supplies Torchwood had. This was much more serious than River Song’s leg wound had been. Lucy needed a proper hospital and surgical facilities, or she was in very serious danger of dying. He looked up at Jack’s eyes and saw that his friend knew how grave her injury was. “Jack, she needs A&E. I can’t help her in a van and I can’t help her with the facilities you have.”

 

                Jack nodded once before raising his voice. “Jake. Take us to the nearest hospital. You and Gwen need to get Mrs. Saxon’s gunshot wound cared for. I’ll take Rose and James home and then work on team rendezvous, okay?”

 

                The agent driving responded quickly. “You got it, boss.”

 

                When the van pulled up in front of James’ home, he finally allowed the relief and emotional exhaustion to flood his system. The trip between the hospital and his home had been passed in tense silence. James had sat with his arm around Rose, holding her as tightly to his side as he could. He hadn’t yet said the things that he wanted to say to her, but when they had stopped at the hospital he had made certain that she was unharmed by their sprint from the farmhouse. Jack had also insisted Rose make a very brief call to Jackie, so that their family would know they were safe and on their way home. The three of them wearily exited the Torchwood van just as the front door opened, spilling Jackie and Donna out into the early morning darkness. James could see Lee and Howard hanging back in the open doorway, but the two worried women rushed forward and met them halfway to the door. James reluctantly released Rose’s hand and allowed his sister to wrap him in a tight embrace as Jackie did the same to Rose.

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably not be updated as often as my other stories were.


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